In the beginning, there was Girls Gone Wild, the DVD box set where girls showed their titties.
Then, there was r/GoneWild, the Reddit K-hole where girls also show their titties (and much, much more).
And then, in 2020, there was the plague. And from the mutated viral swamp from whence it came, a new species of online debauchery was born. They called it r/QuarantineGoneWild. And it was full of lockdown titties. And it was good.
Barely a week old, the 170-person-strong subreddit has emerged in response to the self-quarantines and lockdowns mandated by local governments all across the globe to combat the spread of coronavirus as the premier spot that horny quarantinites can go to upload the nudes they “still want to take :P.” But while it’s still in its nascent form, it is growing, and despite the devastating and otherwise horrifically depressing circumstances that bore it, it’s truly as wild as it promises to be.
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Aaron, a 24-year-old Brit currently on lockdown in Seville, Spain, was the first to post, deflowering the virgin subreddit with a well-lit photo of his throbbing monster dong. Brimming with veins that look ready to burst and sized competitively with a prize farmer’s market squash, it pierces through the chaos of the outer world with a confident look that says, “Coronavirus? More like corona of my penis.” (The corona, for those who don’t know, is the sensitive, ridged base of a dick’s head. You’re welcome.)
Aaron says he found the sub a few days ago through a comment on his original post in r/gonewild, the place people used to go for fire nudes and homemade videos before the virus times. In it, he referenced the fact that he’d just started quarantine, a touching share to which someone simply commented “r/quarantinegonewild.”
Curious what so-called “wildness” was to be had in a forum dedicated to the deflating and isolating realities of lockdown, he clicked the link but found the subreddit to be empty. But in its vast internet barrenness, he spied an opportunity. “This could kind of blow up,” he thought to himself, ever the entrepreneur. After all, the whole world was likely to be in the same position sooner or later. Why not take the opportunity to set the tone for the weeks, months and possibly years of lockdown porn that is to come? A bit nervous but also slightly proud that he’d sprouted a defiant, crisis-resistant boner visible from space, he staked his claim with a repost of his original r/gonewild image and waited for the immodesty to begin.
Soon after, a cascade of others followed his lead.
“Why waste the free time (26M24F),” one post of a lady’s substantive cleavage reads. “Any females wanna bury their head in here and forget about the virus?” Another genius entrepreneur offers to barter her wares — videos of her riding a dildo — for food, while a couple practices “social distancing” by having doggy-style sex in fishnet tights (and no, his dick isn’t six-feet long, but according to the CDC, it should be). A second couple takes a more smirking, aggressive stance: “Hard to Social Distance From Inside Me, Huh?” the title of their post reads. Bet you can guess what it contains.
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Sheila, a 26-year-old from Australia who hasn’t posted yet but says she wants to, tells me that since she and her partner have had difficulty meeting up during quarantine, they wanted to shoot a sex tape to commemorate the last time they’d be able to fuck (a terrible idea for anyone who doesn’t want to get sick or spread the virus, by the way). Originally, they intended it to be a sentimental memento they could get off on in their mutual isolation, but being the kinky couple they are, they’re planning on uploading it to QuarantineGoneWild instead (the film is currently in post-production; release date TBD). “All the regular subreddits just don’t feel right at the moment,” she tells me. “The quarantine is more relatable.”
She’s not wrong about that — with more than 60 million people in Italy, 47 million in Spain and millions more all across the world now under lockdown, the desperation and defiance of raunchy coronavirus sex has started to feel more like the norm than the exception.
At the same time, nothing really revolutionary is happening on QuarantineGoneWild that isn’t happening elsewhere on Reddit or the internet at large. Penises are being fondled, orifices are being penetrated and boobs are going every bit as wild as they have been since the inception of the Gone Wild franchise began in 1997. But while quarantine nudes aren’t terribly different from the liberated, virus-free ones of yore, the sheer fact that this subreddit exists underscores the degree to which people have begun to use sex and pleasure to cope with fear, boredom and tragedy.
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All over the internet, porn is being offered, often for free, as a morale and libido booster in a time of need. Last week, Pornhub waved premium subscription fees for the entire country of Italy and “coronavirus porn” has (literally) gone viral as people who feel isolated look for relatable blow jobs and anal spelunkings that make them feel less alone. The tendency to do that is nothing new, of course — the meteoric rise of amateur porn over the past few years is part and parcel of people’s growing desire for “authenticity,” customized content and pleasant face-fucking scenarios that mirror the mundanities of their own life.
Plus, as ColdLavaHotIce, a redditor who’s been spending her quarantine cross-posting amateur pics and videos of other people “going wild” to grow the subreddit’s audience points out, if people are writing and talking about something online, someone will filter it into a subreddit. And being that COVID-19 appears to be the only thing people are talking about, a subreddit dedicated to COVID-19 lockdown sex would only be the natural progression. It’s unlikely to be the only one, either. As studio porn production has been halted, low-fi, social media-based porn like the kind on Reddit is likely to proliferate and inherit the earth. Bring on the r/DirtyQuarantineDILFs!
Whether that’s good or bad news depends on who you are, but either way, there’s a heartwarming silver lining to be appreciated: Despite the extreme circumstances of the present moment, people’s libidos seem to be very much intact. Aaron says being in quarantine has heightened his emotions — both positive and negative — and for him at least, arousal is no different. In fact, the boredom and the direness has only made him hornier during these trying times.
“I would guess that’s mostly a product of ‘Well, what should I do now? I may as well masturbate,’” he tells me. “And I think that’s certainly a somewhat shared experience for everyone in the world who’s in quarantine.” And given that QuarantineGoneWild also has its fair share of more mature pictures and videos, he might just be right.
As for his penis? He has high hopes for it. “I think nudes and Reddit can be helpful at any time, but especially now,” he says. “If people are locked in, they’re gonna need an escape/outlet, and if that escape/outlet can be my genitalia, then, hey, fantastic news!”
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Isabelle Kohn
Isabelle Kohn is a sex and relationships journalist, educator and consultant who, for some reason, keeps writing about livestock instead. She writes features and long-form pieces for MEL, usually without the help of Clippy.
