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Behold the ‘Megalopenis’ — The Perfect Name for a Big Dick

The term ‘micropenis’ is pretty well-known, so why haven’t we adopted its heavyweight cousin?

At this point in history, the word “micropenis” has become pretty mainstream. But what about its opposite? “Micropenis” implies that there can be a “macropenis”— or even a “megalopenis” — so why aren’t we using those honkin’ $10 words to describe our (presumably) girthy brethren?

For starters, it’s probably because “megalopenis” is an obscure medical term that describes a specific condition. And even though it rolls off the tongue nicely and conjures up images of an endearing, prehistoric dong, the word isn’t well-known enough to approach the popularity of the micropenis.

Likewise, many people might not be aware they have one. To understand why, we first have to define what a micropenis and megalopenis are. A micropenis isn’t just a small dick, and most small dicks don’t qualify as micro. Instead, they’re the result of genetics or a hormonal variation that goes untreated during puberty. They’re generally defined as 2.5 standard deviations below the average adult penis length of 5.25 inches, which equates to 3.66 inches or less erect.

Interestingly, Jack W. McAninch’s textbook General Urology states that megalopenises can originate from similar conditions, particularly in children. According to his text, they occur when “the penis enlarges rapidly in childhood in boys with abnormalities that increase the production of testosterone.” This can be caused by things like hyperplasia and tumors of the testes or adrenal cortex.

In adulthood, however, megalopenises basically just become big dicks. Save for rare conditions that cause penile swelling, they need no medical intervention, and there’s little cause for concern. Assuming that the same standard deviation measurement from micropenises can be applied to megalopenises, they’d clock in at about 7.25 inches or above when erect.

It should be noted that I have no idea how calculus works — this data was pulled from a website called Big Dick Guide, a source I’m sure is reputable. Big Dick Guide — which markets itself as the “ultimate guide for the well-endowed man” appears to frame megalopenises as medical problems of their own, given how disruptive they can be to some people’s lives. They also note that it can be difficult for megalopenis-havers to buy comfortable underwear and condoms.

On Reddit, though, most of the discussion about megalopenises is from guys who are pleasantly surprised to discover that they’re packing one. While 2.5 standard deviations is the measurement method utilized by sources like The Cleveland Clinic and Big Dick Guide, other studies suggest that the standard deviation for dick sizes is a bit different. For example, the 2017 study “Congenital Anomalies of the Penis” states that a megalopenis need only be two standard deviations larger than average. And using data from a 2015 study of 15,521 men, one guy on Reddit calculated that qualifying members must be 6.8 inches erect or above. “Do you suffer from macropenis?” he writes on the subreddit r/bigdickproblems. “Apparently I do.”

Elsewhere on the subreddit, there have been posts from people expressing concern that something’s wrong with them since megalopenis is listed in medical textbooks as a disorder or anomaly. But beyond being a nuisance or hurting partners during intercourse, there are few reports of megalopenises causing any other health issues, except in truly extreme cases. In 2015, a teenager with a 10-inch-wide penis had to undergo a penis reduction, cited as one of the “first ever” cases of such a surgery. The teen’s penis had inflated in size due to sickle cell anemia, in which his blood cells blocked the vessels of the penis and led to painful swelling.

In any case, if you’ve got a big dick, congratulations — you now have some fun new terms for it. Unless you’re a prepubescent child or your big dick has been sprung upon you suddenly, it’s not anything you need to worry about. That said, it is really fun to say, and I hope it gets adopted into more conversational space. Megalopenis pics, anyone?

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