Alas, shirt shopping. You might find one that pleasantly hugs your shoulders, but also awkwardly puts an emphasis on your (ever-burgeoning) belly. Or maybe you find one that makes you look slimmer, but inevitably hangs all the way down to your knees.
In fact, shirts being too long is a common conundrum among both bigger dudes, who wear large shirts in general, and shorter guys, who are shaped differently than the lengthy models most fashion is made for. Then, of course, there are super tall dudes, who sometimes have to deal with the opposite problem: They might find a shirt that fits around their broad shoulders, but also sits like a crop top, exposing their belly button.
Obviously, tucking is always option (except in the last example, naturally) — and a fashionable one at that — but you never want to be forced into tucking. Yet if you choose to keep your shirt free from your waistband, where exactly should it sit on your body?
Easy — at your dick. “Around mid-crotch, or somewhere between mid-crotch and upper-crotch,” L.A.-based stylist Rayne Parvis says. “If you have a potbelly, mid-crotch is best to prevent exposing your midriff when moving around and reaching for stuff. If the shirt extends past your gentleman parts, you’ll look like you’re playing dress up in your dad’s work shirt — and that’s not a sexy look.”
Still, finding a shirt with that perfect length can be tough. This mostly boils down to clothes being made for the masses, rather than the individual, which is something we kinda just have to roll with. There are, though, companies that sell clothes, including shirts, that can be left untucked, even if you happen to have a less-conventional body. “For men under 5-foot-8, there are speciality stores, like Jimmy Au’s, that will assure a more appropriate fit,” Parvis explains. In fact, they claim that their clothes have “height-enhancing” characteristics — i.e., you’re supposed to look taller in them.
Then, no matter what size you are, Parvis recommends Untuckit. “It’s full of shirts you wear untucked,” she explains. “They even have a tall section with an additional 49 different size combinations.”
So if you’re having trouble finding a shirt that lands at dick level when left untucked, the simplest solution is probably to take your shirt measurements, head to the Untuckit website and find something that matches up.
Alternatively, stuff that shirt as far into your pants as it’ll go.
Ian Lecklitner
Ian Lecklitner is a staff writer at MEL Magazine. He mostly writes about everyone's favorite things: Sex, drugs and food.
