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Is There Any Reliable Way to Last Longer in Bed?

Asking for a friend, y’know

After spending weeks sexting on Tinder, the moment has finally come: Your once-digital relationship is officially becoming physical. But alas, you cum within only one minute of smashing, and your unsatisfied companion promptly turns back to Tinder in search of someone with a little more endurance.

Or not! Because, you see, there are several simple ways to increase your sexual stamina. And some of them actually work! Alongside clinical sexologist and certified sex coach Sunny Rodgers, we’re running down the ones that can help turn a sprint into, if not a marathon, at least a leisurely jog round the block.

But first, a brief warning: While numbing gels and sprays might seem like the obvious starting point for curing premature ejaculation, the main active ingredient in many of these products is lidocaine, a powerful local anesthetic that you may have encountered at the dentist. This is bad for several reasons, but most importantly because having a mostly numb dick can prevent you from feeling tears or pains that would otherwise tell you that something’s going wrong. On the less dramatic side, being able to feel sensation down there is necessary for being able to tell how the sex is going (and where it should go from there). Also: Lidocaine might not be very effective anyway.

Now, with that out of the way, let’s get into it…

Wear a Cock Ring

Rodgers explains that cock rings are designed to prevent blood from escaping the penis, which results in prolonged erections and delayed orgasms. But purchasing the right cock ring — and applying it correctly — is imperative. “I recommend that new users use a cock ring made from stretchy material that’s easy to put on,” Rodgers says, adding that the cock ring should only be applied when your dick is almost completely hard, or else you might end up stifling your erection. Most importantly, though, Rodgers warns that wearing a cock ring for any longer than 30 minutes at a time (probably not a problem for you — just sayin’!) can result in persistent and painful erections.

If a basic cock ring doesn’t pique your interest, Rodgers also recommends upgrading to a vibrating cock ring. “Some men I work with have said that vibrations can make their penis numb, which helps them last longer during sex,” she explains. “Please keep in mind, though, that vibrations can also make some men extra sensitive.” So if vibrating cock rings sound appealing, you might want to test them out on yourself before bringing them into bed with your partner and make a bad situation worse.

Train Your Dick

Rodgers recommends two exercises to improve your orgasm control, the first being a masturbation technique called edging, which involves repeatedly bringing yourself to the brink of cumming without allowing yourself to actually cum. “To master this skill, I recommend practicing for between five and ten minutes every other day,” Rodgers says, adding that, in addition to improving your endurance, edging can result in more satisfying orgasms.

Her second exercise involves training your pelvic floor muscles, which ultimately allow you to better control your orgasm. “Exercising the pubococcygeal muscles can help elevate penis strength,” Rodgers explains. “This extra strength not only boosts sexual enjoyment, but it also gives you more control over your penis and can help extend erection time.” The simplest way to workout your pelvic floor muscles, according to Rodgers, is to drape a hand towel over your penis, then “bounce” it up and down. “The towel can be dampened to add weight as the muscles begin to strengthen,” Rodgers adds.

Speaking of training your dick, Brian Sloan, creator of the Autoblow sex toy (above), also recommends using his high-tech mouth-party machine to increase your endurance. “Our method involves training men using the real movements that they can expect during sex with a partner,” Sloan explains, adding that the Autoblow uses artificial intelligence to replicate actual blowjobs performed by humans. “Men should use the most realistic training aid possible to train for the actual event, not a cream that just makes their penis less sensitive. There’s no enjoyment that comes from a cream, but there’s a lot of enjoyment that comes with actually lasting longer without exposing your partner to what’s essentially a toothache cream for your penis.”

While you might admittedly be able to achieve similar (although perhaps less realistic) results by simply using your hand, Sloan does make a valid point pertaining to those orgasm-stopping numbing creams, one that we didn’t touch on earlier: When applied, you feel basically no pleasure, and if they wipe off onto your partner (which is quite plausible), the same happens to them — and again, if both you and your partner have numb genitals, sex can go very wrong very quickly. All of which means putting numbing cream onto your dick is probably not the best option.

Stop Fantasizing

This might sound counterintuitive, but Rodgers recommends focusing on the act itself. “Many men fantasize about a model, friend, someone they passed on the sidewalk, or they’re so focused on their own pleasure, that they naturally speed up during sex,” she explains. “By corralling the mind, they can last longer.”

“Focus on each thrust individually; focus on your partner’s pleasure; focus on the sensations that accompany sex,” Rodgers continues. “By keeping the mind fully in the act, you’ll find that you can slow down when you’re feeling too close to ejaculation, and you can speed up again after that feeling has passed.”

Finally, if all else fails, try finding someone who appreciates you and your quick cumming. Who knows? You might be surprised to find out that many people actually enjoy premature ejaculation after all.