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ICYMI: Men Who Crib Their Sexts, Why Arguing About Your Favorite Burger is Lame AF and Used Condoms

Happy hump day, you guys. I’d just like to say that I disagree with the take that arguing about a burger is trash, as is my right. Personally, I think burgers are the one food that everyone—save the veg crowd—has an opinion about, which make them the perfect food to make an argument over. I can’t go to New Haven and argue about who makes the best avocado toast—because avocado toast isn’t this common denominator of a food like the classic, all-American cheeseburger. Same goes for pizza, the best of which (IMO) has got to be London’s Homeslice. Don’t @ me.

Anyway, we can all agree to disagree. And staff writer Miles Klee’s argument that burger takes are lame is hilarious, so even if you side with me, I suggest you read it. Here’s everything else that was awesome today…

Must Read

“Some Guys Are So Bad at Sexting They Copy and Paste Sexts From the Internet”

There are numerous circumstances that might lead a guy to use canned sexts with his significant other: Perhaps he finds the whole enterprise difficult, his feeble attempts to sound sexy coming off as corny; or, perhaps he’s busy watching TV, and doesn’t want to multitask. Numerous men went on record with features writer Hussein Kesvani and walked him through exactly why they found copy-and-pasting sexts better than typing dirty all by their lonesome. READ MORE

Fuck Your Favorite Burger

What’s Miles Klee ranting about today? How about the fact that arguing that In-N-Out is better than Shake Shack, is better than Whataburger, etc. etc., is boring—and pointless. Every hamburger is fine, if not somewhat better than fine. So who gives a shit, really.

Put. The Phone. Down. Gym Bros.

How bad is checking your phone, taking a selfie or doing anything for an extended period of time between sets? If you have any interest in building muscle, it’s real bad. According to Jonathan Jordan, a personal trainer, nutrition coach, massage therapist and fitness blogger, resting too long between sets means that you’re not breaking down the muscle adequately to cause hypertrophy, which in regular-guy terms means you’re not tricking your muscles into growing. So how much time should you spend between sets? That depends entirely on how much weight you’re putting up.

Condoms: Just Once

Last week, the Centers for Disease Control was forced to tweet out a not-so-friendly reminder that condoms are single-use only:

Now, if you’re like us, you’ve probably got some questions:

  1. Who are the degenerates reusing condoms?!?
  2. How does one even reuse a condom?!?
  3. What, uh, are the risks of reusing a condom, anyways?

Please, join us as we strap in and dig into this truly ridiculous phenomenon.

My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

What’s the proper way to talk about our exes when we’re dating someone new? It’s not like we can avoid the topic of an ex, and trying to do so won’t win you any points, as columnist merritt k points out. Maybe the best way to explain what to do then is to explain what not to do.