I once had a girlfriend for whom farting wasn’t something you pretended a lady didn’t do. Instead, it was a weaponized bodily function, one she wielded with deadly precision. Her favorite thing to do was catch me in the car, and if she was driving—i.e., behind myriad controls for setting her gaseous trap—she’d lock the doors, lock the windows, crank up the heat and let ‘er rip, laughing the whole time. You might refer to it as a mobile Dutch Oven.
I have to admit, though: It was one of my favorite things about her. I dunno, I just thought her who-gives-a-shit-if-I-might-have-shit-my-pants mentality was kinda awesome. And it certainly helped me not give a shit about my own peccadillos.
Now that we’ve got my farting story out of the way, here’s the day’s best stories (which, naturally, also involves a lot of farting)…
Must Read
“A Conversation With Boots Riley, the Hip-Hop Communist Who Made the Summer’s Must-See Satire”
Boots Riley may be best known as the frontman for the Coup, hip-hop’s best and most politically outspoken band since Public Enemy. But for the last few years, Riley has found a different creative outlet: Filmmaking. And that effort has culminated with one of the summer’s best movies, Sorry to Bother You, a fantastical satire that borrows from his own experience as a telemarketer. We spoke to Riley about the film, writing political music that has sex in it and what it’s like to finally be able to pay his bills. READ MORE
No Shoes, No Problem
#DidYouKnow it's always been #Legal ! #BestMemesOnTheInternet #BarefootisLegal pic.twitter.com/VxDzbWmqla
— Barefoot Is Legal. org (@BarefootIsLegal) July 29, 2018
It may be gross. It may be trashy. But one thing going barefoot at all times isn’t, is illegal. And wouldn’t you know it, there’s a small activist movement who’d like to make sure we never forget it.
The MEL Book Club
All summer, Miles Klee has been ruining his weekends reading clichéd, “masculine” novels — the type Jordan Peterson-quoting, MAGA-worshiping bros hold dear to their hearts — and reviewing them for our pleasure. Today, for his last entry, Miles tackles the pièce de résistance, a book “written” (lol) by our narcissist-in-chief himself: The Art of the Deal.
She’s So Gassy
Us guys, we’ve got, like, two different kinds of farts: The Silent-but-Deadly (SBD for short, natch), and the Loud-’n’-Proud. According to staff writer Tracy Moore, however, women have six different types of farts. One of which is the kind only a mother could love, the “Postpartum Fart”:
This piece is so funny it would be a crime akin to farting in someone’s face if you don’t click on it.
Basic Dad Troubles
So you’ve got a kid who won’t take “no” for an answer, and there’s no real signs of that stubbornness slowing down. What’s a dad to do? Take this advice from a child psychologist, a stubborn kid who grew up to be a stubborn adult and others.
Too Long; Didn’t Read
If you’re into CrossFit, ever spent time in the military or watch Master of None, you’ve probably done at least one Burpee: You know, where you drop down into plank, do a push-up and then explode back into a standing position, all while engaging your core?
In case you ever wondered where this oddly-named exercise comes from, and how it became so popular, allow us to pump you up with some knowledge.
Jeff Gross
Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.
