Happy Labor Day weekend, everybody! Lots of great stories to choose from this week, but first, let’s check out some of the stuff I didn’t get to:
For lols: If you can’t laugh with the people who are locked out of the internet because they have offensive last names (e.g., Arun Dikshit), maybe you can laugh at some “butthole eyes”? At least, that’s how Barstool Sports described Pete Davidson’s sunken, tired-looking peepers. But are butthole eyes even a real thing? Let’s find out!
For tears: Perhaps the news that Crocs are essentially dead won’t make you bawl your eyes out, but here are some people—including a retiree, a bartender and a four-year-old—who are really going to miss them.
For help: If you find yourself dumped, beware the con men and women who will tell you that they can return your beloved to you in as little as 30 days—or your money back.
That didn’t catch your fancy? Here’s the best of the rest from the week that was.
Must Reads
“The Women Who Go Wild for Bisexual Guys”
There’s an enthusiastic contingent of women who find bisexuality to be a major turn-on in men. There’s consistent reason why, too: Sexual open-mindedness, less toxic masculinity and a sense of queer solidarity—which makes sense, since most of the women we spoke to about their attraction to bi men were themselves bisexual. READ MORE
“The Secret Lives of HIV-Positive Men in Iran”
Over the last 20-plus years, cultural acceptance and medical advances have meant that Western men who are HIV-positive are living full, normal lives. But for poz men in Iran, life is extremely tenuous — afraid of being outed by a theocratic government in the name of HIV prevention, and reliant upon a sketchy black market for the drugs they need to survive. READ MORE
“The Perilous, Secret World of Steroids for Female Bodybuilders”
Steroid use has become far more commonplace since the dawn of the internet. After all, as the digital world has become smaller, the ability to share information on steroids, understand their efficacy and purchase them has become that much easier. But the same isn’t true for female bodybuilders. For them, steroid use is still something done in secret, and without outspoken female steroid experts, fraught with risk. READ MORE
“It Wouldn’t Kill You to Be a Little Nicer to Ben Affleck”
It’s 2018, and we’re still shaming people for getting the mental and physical help they need? From focusing on his looks to his pre-rehab Jack in the Box order, the media’s “coverage” of Affleck’s alcoholism shows just how unwilling we still are to understand substance abuse — or kill the stigma around it. READ MORE
Five Things We Learned This Week
- Alcohol is the ultimate tool for unearthing the bad mojo in any relationship. That’s because booze loosens lips, which means if they’re holding a grudge, it’s got a better chance of coming out when you’re drunk. But it doesn’t have to be that way—here’s how to mix alcohol and a relationship, safely.
- Foreskin activists are taking to the streets. Anti-circumcision group Intaction is luring in New Yorkers in Union Square with sexy images on the sides of trucks, but what they really want is to get you to watch graphic videos of babies getting snipped.
- Milk chocolate is bad for you, but at least it contains cacao, which is good for your heart. White chocolate, on the other hand, is pure sugar and fat.
- The chips of the future will be made of jellyfish. In fact, that’s just one of the food forms researchers are looking at in an ongoing effort to add the invertebrate to Western diets. As a result, they hope to break our addiction to declining fish stocks.
5. Being a jerk goes hand-in-hand with being great at corporate or entrepreneurial success. But an increasing amount of new research says rich jerks get ahead not because of their jerkiness, but in spite of it.
The Week in Quotes
Being the Naked Cowboy sure sounds chill. But how much of his horny lifestyle has to do with his being nude all the time? According to the man himself, the answer is “everything.”
“Tools” and “penis” are two words that should never go together. Unless, that is, you’re into “urethral play,” like the gentleman above. His kink is the pleasure he gets from sticking things up his pee hole—and he says there’s nothing like it.
This is what it was like to be one of the first people to discover that the internet isn’t just a means of connecting with other people, but also a way to make money—lots of it. Except, in the case of Colin Rowntree, his “product” wasn’t books or search rankings—it was BDSM.
And Now, A Few Words From Our Readers…
“The Women Who Go Wild for Bisexual Guys”
“What’s in This?: Ranch Dressing”
“Men Keep Twisting Themselves Into Pretzels to Reject — Or Embrace — Being Called Feminist”
Feel free to argue against specific points in Miles’ thesis—that guys are more concerned with being or not being labeled a “feminist” instead of fighting for feminism’s basic tenets. But this comment is a bridge too far: No one is worse than John Mayer.
Jeff Gross
Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.
