Smoking weed is all fun and games until meemaw catches the scent of top-shelf herb emanating from your bedroom. But a high you and a happy grandma can exist peacefully under the same roof — you just need to learn how to get rid of weed smell (or convince gammy to blaze up, too). Luckily for you, there are many ways to avoid and eliminate that skunky aroma.
Ventilate
Proper ventilation is the oldest trick in the stoner book, and a must-have for the sneaky smoker. “I use a high-quality air filter in multiple rooms, and I crank it up when I’m smoking,” says Kathryn, aka The Stoner Mom, a mother of four who smokes phat kush and blogs about responsible toking. If you don’t have some kind of air filter — portable air purifiers with a HEPA or carbon filtration system work especially well against weed smoke — smoking in a steamy bathroom with a fan running works well, too. Finally, as obvious as it sounds, Kathryn suggests running a ceiling fan, opening windows, and of course, smoking outside whenever possible.
Use a Sploof
For the uninitiated, a sploof is a tube with a filter on one end, and it’s commonly used to smoke without the smell. There are plenty of brands that sell reusable sploofs — Kathryn likes Sploofy — but you can easily make your own, too. As a sly stoner on r/Trees tells me, you can shove a few dryer sheets into an empty toilet paper or paper towel roll, then use a rubber band to secure another dryer sheet onto one end. Once it’s ready, simply exhale into the open end, and voilà: Odorless smoke.
Wear a Smoking Jacket
If you’re sick of dank-smelling clothes, Kathryn says layering a long, heavy smoking jacket over everything during your 420 sesh is a “no-brainer.” As an added bonus, you’ll feel extra fancy while you get high. Just remember to take it off before you head out — you may look like Hugh Hefner, but I guarantee he smelled fresher than you.
Use Sprays, Air Fresheners and Candles
There are all sorts of air fresheners on the market that promise to eliminate the smell of smoke, but Ozium is a fan favorite amongst the stoners of r/Trees. If you get tired of the Ozium smell, which some describe as citrusy, Kathryn says brands like Cannabolish make “interesting” products for odor maintenance. They’ve got an odor-eliminating spray that stoners seem to like, and a couple smell-killing candles that make a “great addition to a smoke session.”
Vape
If smell is a big concern and you’re open to any means of reducing it, vape that shit. “No combustion means no smoke,” Kathryn says. And no smoke means no smell.
Edibles are another scentless option, of course.
Wait for Odorless Weed
If you’re extra paranoid and refuse to vape, Canadian company CannabCo Pharmaceutical has been working on entirely odorless cannabis for a while now, and it could reach the American market someday. You’ll just have to wait a while.
Take a Shower and Do Your Laundry
It’s a non-urgent approach, but if you’re worried about your body and clothes smelling like weed, it works.
Now that you’re properly blitzed and smell like absolutely nothing whatsoever, why don’t you go check on those cookies your gammy’s been cooking up?
Ian Lecklitner
Ian Lecklitner is a staff writer at MEL Magazine. He mostly writes about everyone's favorite things: Sex, drugs and food.
