The original Four Loko is gone, and we’re never getting her back. The closest you can get to tasting that sweet, sweet chaos is adding a 5-Hour Energy or some other horrific energizer to the boring, non-caffeinated Four Loko we have today, but the bravest among us have opted to spruce it up with something a little more interesting: eggs.
The Four Yolko, as this demonic concoction is called, is a Four Loko mixed with four raw eggs. And yes, a small handful of people are actually gulping it down as a fitness drink. Its creator, @fathergainz, is known for making horrific alcohol-based creations he drinks prior to working out — last week, I tried his “hoetein shake,” which is protein powder mixed with scotch or whiskey. It was terrible. Drinking four raw eggs is where I draw the line, though, so I won’t be testing this one out myself. I did, however, get my Twitter friend @Ludvig_Prinn to do it for me.
His final assessment? “I have never had Four Loko, so the Four Yolko is the only experience I have,” he tells me. “I have just finished the pitcher. The front is all sour apple, the back is all malt liquor and child trafficking.”
So, I guess he didn’t like it?
Father Gainz has all sorts of videos of him trying it, too. “C’mon bro, you’re only 2-3 Four Yolkos away from greatness,” he writes in the original Four Yolko video, chugging it from a large mixing cup. The yolks remain solid in the watermelon-flavored beverage. “How else would I have ripped a 485-pound close-grip bench PR [personal record] today?”
Meanwhile, in a video from earlier in the year, he sips some Four Loko with a single egg in it from a wine glass. You know, like a gentleman.
Father Gainz’ videos often go viral, meaning he’s inspired countless others (like myself!) to try his terrifying creations (his Four Yolko video from March 1st, for example, has 141,000 likes). Elsewhere on TikTok, though, there are a handful of admittedly depressing videos of people drinking Four Yolkos for like, three likes. For the most part, everyone seems to get it down just fine, with the exception of one person who threw up. Admittedly, that person appears to be the only one who drank the full 18-ounce can of Four Loko besides Father Gainz — everyone else just filled up a pint glass.
So yeah, it’s an eye-catching stunt. But is there any real benefit to getting your protein from a Four Yolko? Can it really help me bench-press 485 pounds?
For this, I reached out to Ian Douglass, MEL’s fitness and nutrition expert. He wasn’t impressed. “On average, humans are able to absorb 90 percent of the protein from cooked eggs, but only 50 percent of the protein from raw eggs,” he tells me. “Therefore, if your objective in drinking the raw eggs is extracting protein — and not simply impressing people or grossing them out — you’d do far better to cook them. Otherwise, you’re essentially wasting half of your eggs from a nutrient standpoint.”
Also, the alcohol also isn’t high enough to kill off any bacteria the raw eggs might harbor. “Your odds of a salmonella infection are really low anyway, but why play Russian roulette with an egg if you don’t have to?” Douglass questions.
So really, like the hoetein shake, the Four Yolko is a gimmick, above all else. Still, it’s so deeply chaotic, you can’t help but admire it. Other than the risk of salmonella, if you’re already committed to the extreme decision of drinking Four Loko, why not up the ante and add some eggs?
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
