Cory Booker’s College Football Teammates Tell All!, Life as a Lady Urologist and the Food Men Make When No One is Looking

Maybe I’m a weirdo, but I’ve never been uncomfortable letting a female doctor — urologist or otherwise — near my junk, a situation I’ve found myself in a few times, the details of which I’ll spare you.

As far as I’m concerned, there’s little difference in male and female physicians when a penis is involved. They’re both dispassionate in their approach to the task at hand (so to speak), they both ask you to “cough” the same way, and if they’re anything like the doctors I know who were pulling things out of dudes’ asses on the reg while in residency, there’s nothing in my pants that’s going to shock them.

Guys are lucky that way. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the biggest problem they’d likely encounter seeing a female urologist is that her hands are cold — not that she’s going to go all “Larry Nassar” on them.

So for the dudes who somehow have a problem with letting a woman doctor examine them in a state of undress, remember: She might be a lady, but she’s still a professional.

Must Read

“What It Was Like to Play Football With Cory Booker at Stanford, According to His Teammates”
In case you haven’t heard, New Jersey Senator Cory Booker is running for president in 2020. While you may remember Booker’s political theatrics like “Hurricane Sandy victims: Come sleep at my house,” and “I am Spartacus,” you probably don’t remember his athletic prowess at Stanford, where he was recruited to play tight end and wide receiver. Quinn Myers talked to a number of Booker’s former teammates about the 2020 presidential candidate, and the impression he made on the field — and in the locker room. READ MORE

Crossing the Line

Sexual harassment between gay men and straight women (and vice versa) is often misconstrued as “okay” because of the perception that they’re allies in a straight man’s world. But that perceived closeness doesn’t make nuzzling boobs, unwanted nudes or lewd jokes any less problematic. And yet, this kind of behavior — especially in the workplace — continues to occur, even as the #MeToo movement continues to evolve.

Hookah is LIT ?

You can’t keep a good hookah down. Or so it seems, considering the hookah industry’s growing popularity even in the face of increased government regulation, the growth of e-cigarettes like Juul and numerous reports about the health risks of waterpipes. And it’s thanks in large part to a growing number of hookah influencers and a little cold weather.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting Freaking the Fuck Out

The first feeling that comes when you learn you’re an expectant father is, naturally, joy. The second feeling is — also naturally — “Oh shit, oh shit, WTF do I do now?!?!?” Thankfully, there’s a place on the internet you can go to quash all your soon-to-be dad fears: r/PreDaddit.

Heathcliff > Garfield

You know how you know Garfield is a shit comic book cat? Mike Pence, our dummy of a vice president and a man who once publicly argued that the Disney film Mulan was liberal propaganda that encouraged women to serve in the military, counts himself as a fan:

Sure his fandom might have little to do with Garfield’s politics (or lack thereof) and more to do with the fact that the the lazy, lasagna-eating furball lives in Muncie, Indiana, but tomatoes, to-MAH-toes. Besides — as Miles Klee writes — there’s an underrated yet far better cartoon feline alternative: Heathcliff.

Dude-Strology: Virgo ≠ Virgin

Virgo, the sixth sign of the Zodiac, is represented in mythology by a female maiden. Does that mean that guys who are born Virgos are destined to be effeminate virgins? Not according to MEL’s Chief Astrology Officer Taj. In fact, there’s a lot to be really excited about if you’re a Virgo, none of which has anything to do with the number of your sexual conquests.

Read why “purity” broadly interpreted is so important to Virgos, as well as why you’re really lucky to be born the odd sign out of your single-signed family, here.

She’s Got the Touch

The days of male OBGYNs may be numbered, thanks in large part to patients’ growing demand for female doctors who won’t assault them a la George Tyndall and Larry Nassar. But the dwindling number of male gynecologists also has something to do with the fact that women generally feel more comfortable around a doctor of the same sex — especially when a specula is involved.

Which poses an interesting question: Do guys feel the same way when their urologist is female? While the number of women looking at dicks and balls all day are growing, breaking through in such a male-dominated medical field comes with its own set of issues.

Shitty Food Porn

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’d eat when no one else is watching? If you answered “a bag of iceberg lettuce,” you’ve already been beaten to the punch. A recent thread on r/AskReddit revealed that, while iceberg lettuce has been consumed on its own by one sad redditor, that’s not nearly the worst thing a dude has called “dinner.”

---

Jeff Gross

Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.