Every day, porn star and University of Southern California journalism grad student Tasha Reign wakes up to a curious string of emails from her fans, a devoted group of men and women she lovingly refers to as “Reigndeer.” Said Reigndeer ask her questions — so many questions — about her perspectives on sex, love, relationships and life itself, and as someone who’s had more firsthand experience in these areas than four adult women combined, she’s become uniquely up to the task of answering them. Bi-weekly then, Tasha will select a few of these questions and provide her insight, advice and expert wisdom in the hopes that she can help you fuck and love better, too.
As an adult film star, it’s your job to get as close to people as humanly possible. What’s it like working in this industry during the coronavirus pandemic?
Corona as an adult film actress living in L.A. County may sound like someone’s worst nightmare — and it is true that the stores here have no toilet paper, Lysol and absolutely no hand sanitizer. But let me tell you how chill it actually is (for me, at least). Yes, it’s my job to be in close proximity to people, lick their orifices and rampantly suck on their fingers — which have been god knows where — but you know what? I’m counting my lucky stars and so thankful to have this career right now.
Everyone that can self-quarantine is doing so as we speak, which means they’re at home, bored and horny AF. Because of that, I have more people than ever tuning into my premium channels and taking advantage of my sexy Snapchat and OnlyFans. So for me, this crazy apocalypse we’re in is actually a blessing, not a curse.
Plus, the whole “social distancing” thing means I can lock myself indoors all day and do nothing but create more content. Usually I work with another performer, but I can easily do my job solo, with nothing more than me, my imagination and a webcam or iPhone. In fact, if you can name it, I can do it — and from the comfort of my own bed. It’s absolutely awful that so many people can’t work right now, so I’m beyond grateful that I can do my job at full capacity.
Now, for the PSA portion of my answer: As a model, pig mom, girlfriend and porn star, I highly advise you to keep yourself isolated if possible. Be sure to wash your hands for 20 seconds each time. And oh, sage the fuck out of your house.
I’m a woman who loves giving head, but I keep coming across a problem — guys don’t seem to wipe their dicks after they pee. So unless they’ve just showered or washed, there’s almost always a little bit of pee taste in my mouth when I get going, which I don’t love. Is it unreasonable to ask a guy to wash his cock before I suck it?
OMG. Let me tell you an awful tale from a time far, far away. It was about seven years ago, and I was on set for a “seedy” company. The “performer” I was booked with wasn’t exactly a “performer” — he was more of a creepy, wannabe director who would place himself in videos and whip out his penis for the blow-job scenes. In retrospect, I should have avoided working with him, but I was young, driven and I fucking love money, so I went through with it.
The stench that arose from his penis that day was horrific. I cringe just thinking of how it tasted — like feces, with a side of urinal cake. After nearly gagging when he took it out, I kindly asked him to clean his genitals with soap or a baby wipe. To my surprise, he obliged; no push back or anything.
I’d later discover that not all men are as courteous about being asked to clean their cocks as he was. One performer literally screamed “No!” at me when I asked him to wash up, then threw a remote control at the wall behind me just to prove how committed he was to having a rancid cock.
But, as big of an asshole as he was, he was also a rare asshole. Most guys are pretty cool about being asked to rinse off. And you should be cool about asking too, because at the end of the day, you must speak up for what you want. You must ask for what you desire. And you must, must, must put yourself first. Asking for a sanitary surface to suck on is a totally legitimate request, but none of these dirty dick guys are going to grant it for you if you don’t put it out there.
Keeping baby wipes on hand has proven helpful for me as well. Above the toilet is a perfect place to store them. I also love this flavored lube by Doc Johnson called “Good Head”; it comes in a variety of flavors, and it really masks the taste/smell. I love using it on myself too! Give it a try — it might be the very thing that puts the flavor back in your (oral) sex life.
My wife of three years just confessed to me that she’s super into women and she’s been dying to have a threesome with one. We’re monogamous and I’m not super comfortable with threesomes because I feel like they’re kind of a slippery slope into a lifestyle I don’t identify with. But I also don’t want to deny her something she seems to want so badly. What should I do?
Is that a humble-brag? (Kidding — I’m sure most heterosexual men would ask the same question.)
I recently had a threesome for the first time with my partner. We were previously monogamous, and honestly, we will probably go back to that because the experience was underwhelming. But you know what? At least we tried. While we agreed that we enjoyed each other’s company more than when there’s a third person involved, I was glad we gave it a shot. Otherwise, how would we have known it wasn’t for us?
Same goes for you. There’s no way to know whether or not you’ll like something like a FFM threesome, or if your wife will, until you try it. Yes, you’re monogamous, and yes, you thought your wife was as hetero as you are, but until you find out what it’s like to throw another woman into the mix, you’ll never know if you’re missing out on something hot and liberating, or whether you’re right about monogamy all along.
In the meantime, let’s run through some pros and cons of giving it a shot.
Pros: You (probably) get to play with another woman! That’s amazing. You might be turned on by the whole experience. Maybe this will open up your wife to a kinkier side that you had no idea you were interested in seeing. Maybe you’ll discover you’re much more flexible and adventurous than you thought. Maybe it will be the best sex of your life.
Most importantly, though, it’s clearly something that means a lot to your partner, and sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the greater good. I’d look at her interest in women and your acceptance of her desire to explore them outside your marriage as something that will benefit your relationship — when you love and trust someone enough to let them be completely themselves, the intimacy between you tends to grow into something stronger, even if the thing you tried together (like my threesome) doesn’t work out.
Cons: For one, you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that your wife might enjoy another person sexually, and that could be really difficult, especially considering your wife can do things with women that she probably can’t do with you. I’m sure you’re worried she might like doing those things more, and if that’s true, she might leave you for a woman or become dissatisfied with what you can provide as a man (hence the “slippery slope” you mentioned).
Those fear-based feelings can test a relationship, and it’s possible that if you go down this road with her, you might part ways. But isn’t it better for that to happen when you were trying to be open and honest with who you both are than for it to happen through deceit or resentment? If your wife wants to do this as badly as she says she does, she’s probably going to do it anyway at some point or another, so you might as well buy in, take the gamble and go on the adventure with her than try to restrict or limit her desires.
Overall, the cons of this experience seem a lot more threatening than the pros, but I feel like the likelihood of them actually happening could be lower. If I were you then, I’d let your wife have some fun and just do it!
Feel free to send me your sex, love and relationship questions at tashareign1@gmail.com!
More Basic Sex With Tasha Reign
- How should I be shaving my pubes?
- Do porn stars actually enjoy sex on set?
- How do I tell my wife I’m kinda into cuckolding?
- Should I let my hookup become my boss?
- How can I get my partner to try something other than missionary?
Tasha Reign
Tasha Reign is an adult actress and patron of the art of dating, love, and everything sex related. She has given a decade of her life to the sex industry and gone on enough dates for all of Los Angeles combined. Ask her your questions and she'll do personal research to provide her best answers. She can be reached at Tashareign1@gmail.com.
