There are a lot of different supposed “cures” to erectile dysfunction. There’s weird shit, like crocodile hearts and spider venom, and there’s natural shit like pomegranate and blackcurrants, but the truth is, there’s nothing quite like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, the prescription drugs proven to help get your dick hard. That’s why these medications can often be found in places you wouldn’t expect.
Sometimes these are just approved “other uses,” but most of the time, these drugs are included illegally, and we don’t find out about it until the FDA tests them and tells us. So, for just about everything else that contains dick-hardening medicine, here we go…
Revatio
Revatio is simply lower dose Viagra under a different name. While Viagra is best known as a treatment for ED, its active ingredient, sildenafil, is also used to treat pulmonary arterial hypertension, which is high blood pressure in the lungs. Like Viagra, Revatio increases blood flow to certain areas of the body, which means that it may also give you an erection, but it likely won’t be quite as effective given the lower dose. Instead, Revatio is meant to increase exercise capacity in those taking it.
Adcirca
Just like Revatio, Adcidra is used to treat pulmonary arterial hypertension, except this is the drug tadalafil, which is the active ingredient in Cialis. The only real difference is that it’s also approved to treat benign prostatic hyperplasia, which is an enlarged prostate.
And that’s literally everything when it comes to “official” other uses for erectile dysfunction meds! Everything else mentioned below is totally unapproved and generally illegal.
Literally Hundreds of Gas Station Sex Pills
A little while ago, we did a piece entitled “What’s In This?: Gas Station Sex Pills,” and we were alarmed to find out that the Super Panther 7K Male Enhancement Pill contained both sildenafil and tadalafil (aka, Viagra and Cialis). So while the label boasted ingredients like Yohimbe (an African tree whose bark has long been thought to boost sex drive), Guarana (a caffeinated fruit) and a handful of vitamins, the FDA discovered that it also contained ED meds that should only be taken with a prescription.
In fairness, Super Panther is hardly the only gas station sex pill that secretly contains these drugs. In fact, the FDA has issued a warning saying, “The number of these problematic products available on the internet appears to be increasing.” Hell, Super Panther isn’t even the only animal-themed sex pill that illegally had these ingredients, as the FDA also found them in things like Tiger-X; Tiger 5000; Golden Ant; Black Stallion 35000; Black Lion; Black Mamba 2; Tyrannosaurus; Monkey Business; Super Bull 6000; and a whole bunch of shit made by the company Rhino. The Canadian National Post put it best in the headline “Straight Up: The Secret Ingredient in Herbal Versions of Viagra Is Likely to Be… Viagra.”
The problem is that there are so many of these “herbal” drugs out there that the FDA can’t possibly catch them all. They do have a running list on their site if you’d like to look up your favorite sex pill of choice, but again, there are so many shady companies making them that the FDA can’t possibly keep up.
The danger here is that these pills aren’t being approved by a doctor, and thus, the same risks and side effects that you may face with Viagra, etc. (headaches, nosebleeds, vision problems, among others) you also may face here. In some cases, things may be even riskier — for example, one pill named Jia Yi Jian was found to have four times as much tadalafil as you’d find in Cialis. Pills like this can be so strong that they can do damage to your penis — one guy who took Rhino 7 even told WSB-TV in Atlanta, “[My penis] turns almost a 90-degree angle to the left. You can’t even have sex with it.”
E-Cialis HelloCig E-Liquid and E-Rimonabant
This doesn’t just apply to pills, either. The FDA also warned Americans to avoid vaping products by the Chinese company HelloCig, as they contained several erectile dysfunction medications. One of their products, called E-Cialis HelloCig E-Liquid, contained both sildenafil and tadalafil, while E-Rimonabant contains sildenafil. While the FDA warned that this could lower blood pressure to dangerous levels, they said they really didn’t even know what might happen to someone vaping sex meds because they’ve never been tested this way. In fact, the only time an official ED med inhalant was attempted was via a nasal spray that never made it past medical trials.
Leopard Secret Miracle Honey
Now that you know that Black Lion and Tiger X and other cat-themed pills have illegal drugs in them, it should be no surprise that Leopard Secret Miracle Honey does too. In 2018 they tested this “miracle” sweetener and found that its “secret” was sildenafil.
MosKa Energy Drink
An Australian energy drink known as MosKa had boasted of natural ingredients to get you excited down under, but in reality, it was the dosage of vardenafil, which is the drug in Levitra. Australian authorities banned this drink back in 2014, even though the company who made it claimed it had no idea. Mm-hmm.
Best Candy and Hamer Candy
Since I’ve never gotten a hard-on from a Jolly Rancher (not the candy kind, at least), it’s very possible that Best Candy really is the best candy out there, but that’s only because it contains nortadalafil, which is closely related to tadalafil. Best Candy and Hamer Candy are an example of another problem that the FDA has to contend with: Drugs that are slightly altered, and hence, not “technically” illegal. While chemically it may be very similar to tadalafil and may carry all of the same risks, since it is slightly different, it’s harder to crack down on. It’s kind of like how Garfield is just a slightly-altered knock-off of Heathcliff: It’s hard to prove, but definitely true.
Stiff Bull Instant Coffee and New of Kopi Jantan Tradisional Natural Herbs Coffee
If a “natural herbs” coffee gives you a boner, it’s probably not natural. Such was the case for Stiff Bull Instant Coffee and New of Kopi Jantan Tradisional Natural Herbs Coffee. Both were recalled for containing desmethyl carbodenafil, which is structurally similar to sildenafil. For Stiff Bull, the dosage was so potent it could make you hard for up to three days (ouch). As for the “New of Kopi” coffee, it also contained unidentified milk, which is a total dick move for those out there suffering from erectile dysfunction and lactose intolerance.
Hopefully this goes without saying, but if you’re someone suffering from erectile dysfunction, you really should go see a doctor. Because when it comes to gas stations, the only thing you should be buying there (besides gas) is lotto tickets, unless you really feel like gambling with your dick.
Brian VanHooker
Brian VanHooker is a staff writer at MEL specializing in pop culture, food (especially pizza) and long form oral histories. He is the co-creator of the comic book "Barnum & Elwood" and "The Tramp," a comedy pilot starring John O'Hurley. He also hosts a TMNT interview podcast called "Turtle Tracks" and was once called a "Good Guy" by Mr. T.
