Given that sex toys have existed for some 28,000 years, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that many women get off best by using them. Historically, this has presented a threat to men’s fragile masculinities, but today — with all we’ve learned about female anatomy and pleasure — a comfort with sex toys should be the bare minimum. And yet, in 2022, men are taking to TikTok to show just how cool they are with their girls incorporating toys into the bedroom. And they’re doing so in the horniest, cringiest way possible.
“Realizing I can work with her toys instead of against them,” TikToker @drjoshcogoi says as he glances around his vehicle, taking a breathy inhale and rolling his eyes. He follows it up by saying “Fuck,” winking at the camera and adding, “Where do we start?” with the smiling purple devil emoji. If that didn’t get his message across, he also captions the video with “Let’s play.”
Many of the 5.5 million people who have viewed this TikTok seem to like his message. “And the boy becomes a man,” the top comment reads. “Now I’m pregnant,” another woman wrote. Still, while I’m glad this dude has finally come to terms with the fact that vibrators and myriad other sex toys can enhance the sexual experience for both parties, I’m not so sure this is worthy of bragging rights. I don’t know how old the men are (they appear to be in their 30s), but they’re basically admitting that they’ve spent much of their sexual life allowing themselves to feel threatened and insecure when faced with a sex toy. Moreover, being willing to sexually satisfy your partner isn’t itself worthy of a gold star — it’s entry-level good-person shit.
Nevertheless, the video, which was posted on May 20th, has spawned several copycats. There are also dozens of women posting the same sentiment, expressing their apparent approval of guys who make this pivotal discovery.
And look, I’m sure that the virality of these videos — and seeing women thirsting after the concept — could be enough to encourage some less open-minded guys to let their desperately unsatisfied partners get an orgasm in every now and again. But it’s unlikely that this is the goal of the guys who are copying the trend. Instead, it appears they’re attempting to garner more female attention by… being comfortable with helping their wives and girlfriends experience pleasure?
Again, progress is great, and it’s better to learn now than never, but come on. If it’s taken you this long to be comfortable with her using sex toys, you should keep that to yourself. It’s embarrassing! And to make a TikTok where you’re so aggressively turned on by your own revelation? Buddy, you’re not the first guy to figure out that it’s fun to use them during sex — you’re just one who decided to publicly reveal they’re late to the game.
To all the women turned on by these videos, I beg of you: Raise your standards. To the men making these videos: Buzz off! Literally!
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
