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Why Mitt Romney’s Tweets Don’t Deserve Your Praise, Serial-Killer Cosplay on TikTok and Introducing the Spellcheck Reply Guy

Sometimes, when I overcook pasta, or when my car goes through a $60 tank of gas in a week, I think, “My life is soooo hard.” But then I watch video of this dude — with one freakin’ leg — squat-lift 510 pounds:

If KC Mitchell can lose a leg to an IED in Afghanistan, come back and become a champion powerlifter as an amputee, I can suffer through the fact that Netflix still hasn’t put up Season Five of Schitt’s Creek.

Must Read

“Mitt Romney and the Myth of the Noble Republican”
Utah Senator Mitt Romney’s quasi-stern reaction to the ever-widening Ukraine scandal might have you believe that what we’re seeing is the first signs of a moderate-Republican revolt Trump.

Don’t be so sure, though. Maybe we’re cynics, but it might be a bit desperate to mistake the most timid dissent within the ranks of the GOP for crusading bravery. In fact, as Miles Klee argues, it would be highly surprising to see any Republican do anything other than sit on their hands. READ MORE

The ‘Killers’ on TikTok

For the past few months, hundreds of teens and tweens have been role-playing serial killers and their battered victims on TikTok, paying homage to each in bizarre, tone-deaf videos that air for an audience of millions. While not quite as popular as some of the social video app’s other trending topics, it’s enough that TikTok and its users are beginning to see some well-deserved backlash.

The Trading-Card Economy

The threat of recession on the housing market, employment and our bank accounts is bad enough for most people. But then again, fans of popular trading-card games like Pokémon and Magic: The Gathering aren’t most people. Still, recession fears are alive and well among those communities, too — namely, will their prized decks hold their value? Or will they crash and burn, like everything else? Collectors are worried.

Clowns on the Clown Prince of Crime

Much of the conversation and backlash around Todd Phillips’ Joker has focused on whether the film is fuel for the antisocial set. But lost in the madness is how the movie will affect the members of the community it uses as its subject matter: Clowns. After all, people were terrified of clowns before Joker came out, so how do birthday-party professionals think folks will they treat them now?

What’s in a Nickname?

“Wild Bill” Hickok. “Sugar Ray” Leonard. “Sleepy Joe” Biden. Andrew “Sweet Drew” Fiouzi dug through history to find out why nicknames exist in the first place, and why negative nicknames are stickier than positive ones.

Stink So Good

Did you know that cologne is made mostly from alcohol, but that the alcohol used has been chemically altered to be “unpalatable” for anyone hoping to get drunk off the stuff, by order of the U.S. Government?

Find out what else is in cologne — and why, if you’re experiencing dermatitis or other skin irritations, your cologne is likely the culprit — here.

Thanks, You Were Great

How do you let your partner know the sex was great? Some guys think a high five is in order, others stick with a simple “Thank you.” But is there a better way to express your sexual bliss-addled gratitude? Quinn Myers investigates.

Reply Guys, Cont’d…

Just when you thought we’d documented and publicly shamed all manner of Reply Guys, a new class of insufferable assholes throws their hat in the ring: The Spellcheck Reply Guys. Sure, they’re smart enough to know the difference between “lose” and “loose,” but dumb enough to think you’ll appreciate their input.

Thanks, fuckhead!