Straight up: I’d light a citronella candle in my bedroom, if it wasn’t for, you know, the warning label on the side clearly explaining why I shouldn’t light a citronella candle in my bedroom. That lemon-y scent takes me back to those times growing up in Massachusetts in late June when I’d get my ass chewed up by our state bird, the mosquito.
But smelling good is about all those so-called bug-repellants are actually good for, because, per Ian Lecklitner’s analysis of the ingredients in a citronella candle, they aren’t repelling any actual bugs. If I’d known that sad fact growing up, I’d just as soon light some incense instead, because as good as a citronella candle smells, it doesn’t smell as good as some Nag Champa.
Probably doesn’t repel mosquitoes as well either, come to think of it.
Must Read
“There Is Nothing Left To Say”
Another weekend, another senseless tragedy at the hands of a disturbed person with a gun — scratch that, two. Yet with each new shooting, politicians and the media resort to the same tired rhetoric, the same empty promises and the same bullshit condolences, always searching for some new spin to explain what happened. But as Miles Klee writes, we don’t need a “conversation” about guns anymore, because there’s nothing worth saying that hasn’t already been said. All that’s left is revolution. READ MORE
What’s New, You ‘Rat Bastards’?
Feel bad about your continued use of “guys,” “dudes” or “lads” when you refer to a mixed-gender group of people? You wouldn’t be alone. Sure, there’s a well-articulated argument that semantics and context are flexible enough to make anyone an eligible “guy” or “lad” in 2019. But given that elasticity, why not stretch ourselves in a new, gender-inclusive direction? Hell, “rat bastards” is as good a place as any to start.
Everybody drop your favorite gender neutral greeting mine is “what’s up rat bastards”
— ellory smith (@ellorysmith) July 30, 2019
That’s No Moon
You know the theory that director Stanley Kubrick conspired with NASA to film the moon landing in a Hollywood studio? Amateur hour. Any moon truther worth their salt knows that the moon doesn’t even exist, and what we perceive as the “moon” is actually a giant alien spaceship. Zaron Burnett III interviewed paranormal investigator and “alternative moon theory” expert Rob Shelsky about the merits of the Spaceship Moon hypothesis, and how some of organized religion’s most hallowed texts might actually be accounts of humanity’s interactions with these aliens.
The Picky Eaters That Dine Together, Fight Together
The average American couple spends around five-and-a-half days a year trying to figure out what to eat for dinner. Even couples with relatively easy-to-please palates can find it a struggle. Imagine, then, the kinds of arguments a keto woman with gluten sensitivity might have with a vegetarian guy with a nut allergy. Is it possible for two people with totally different eating habits to find happiness? Sure, but only if they’re content to live entirely separate lives.
‘We’re Pregnant,’ Literally
As much as a guy might like to think that he and his pregnant partner are “in it together,” it’s usually the woman who begins the day by violently throwing up. But in some countries, as much as 72 percent of men claim to experience Couvade Syndrome, or what’s known as a “sympathetic pregnancy,” where expectant fathers may endure morning sickness, nausea, heartburn, backache and even swollen breasts — an issue most commonly chalked up to stress. But some psychoanalysts believe what the dad-to-be is really experiencing is a case of womb envy.
Transhumanists Against Epstein
As details of Jeffrey Epstein’s sex-trafficking ring continue to trickle out, it’s becoming more and more clear that we’re only scratching the surface of the billionaire’s other perverted obsessions, like his hopes to use cryonics to freeze his head and penis for future civilizations to play with. If the latter sounds bizarrely familiar, it might be because it’s an idea that aligns somewhat with transhumanism, a philosophy that believes in a future without death. And that’s placed transhumanists squarely in the public eye — a predicament they wish they could go into cryostasis to avoid.
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
