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What Happens If You Fall Asleep With a Used Condom On?

Besides leakage, I mean

The sexual afterglow — helpfully defined by Psychology Today as “enhanced sexual satisfaction that lingers following sexual activity” (thanks for clearing that up!) — radiates in sharp contrast to the other post-coital image: That of a soggy, latex-wrapped dick that’s already in retrograde. Ah yes, dear reader, I’m asking the question that hath been on thy mind since you spastically rolled over your partner’s unsatisfied body, felt the pang of exhaustion overcome your writhing frame and wondered: What would happen if I just left my dick to marinate in this cum-filled receptacle overnight?

Obviously, you’re not the first person to ponder this question. In 2007, one guy posted on a now-closed Japanese forum, asking whether wearing a condom for too long is bad for you. “The girl I am seeing and a previous girl both told me to take my condom off quickly after sex. They said it was unhealthy to leave it on for too long,” he wrote. “She said that the sperm and general bacteria in there gave you a skin rash. Is this true?”

Another guy asked the same question on Yahoo! Answers because, presumably, he actually did leave a condom on after having sex and now has a weird rash. “It’s bright red on the underside of my penis, and it doesn’t hurt but it’s a little itchy and kinda slimy,” he continues.

To that end, sex therapist Ian Kerner, founder of GoodInBed.com, told BuzzFeed in 2015 that, since most men will lose their erection pretty quickly after they ejaculate, his advice is to take the condom off before you go soft. “Since that could mean a lot more room in your condom and more opportunities for semen to spill out or the condom to slip off,” Kerner told Buzzfeed. “When taking off the condom, hold the rim as you pull it off to prevent any spillage. Bonus points for tying the end in a knot before you toss it in the trash.”

Jamin Brahmbhatt, a certified urologist, agrees with Kerner and tells me that it’s really hard for a condom to stay on when the penis is flacid. “And it’s really hard for a penis to stay hard all night (naturally).” In other words, unless you’ve taken some righteous dick pills, it’s not possible for the condom to maintain its grip on your dick for an extended period of time, let alone over the course of an entire night, especially after you’ve already ejaculated. Additionally, Brahmbhatt says, if you have a latex allergy, you’re going to know pretty quickly, so the odds of leaving it on and tolerating the burning sensation are low.

This, then, leaves the question of what an extended jizz-soak could do to your dick, assuming said condom is filled with semen. According to a report in Medical Daily, it could actually be really heathy for your dick’s skin to leave your penis soaking in cum. “In sperm, a crystalline polyamine compound called Spermine can be found,” it reports. “This particular compound is also known as an antioxidant. It is believed to diminish wrinkles, smooth skin and help with taming or preventing acne.” So much so, in fact, that Bioforskning, a Norwegian company, has synthesized the compounds into a facial cream.

All of which probably explains why Brahmbhatt tells me that he’s never had a patient complain about condoms or condom-dick sous vide experience beyond, “wish I didn’t have to wear it.”

Sounds about right.