There’s a brief sketch from the show Whitest Kids U Know known called “Pussy Restaurant.” In it, a family with a teenage son are dining out while two men at a neighboring table loudly discuss how one of their salads tastes like pussy. The family then begins to get angry about how brazenly and repetitively they keep discussing the salad’s singular flavor.
“I’m sorry, sir, I don’t mean to offend you and your family, but the thing is, we ordered this salad here and it tastes exactly like a big, sloppy pussy,” they say before offering it up for the dad to try himself. The mother then tries it and agrees. The son takes a bite and says it doesn’t taste like pussy at all. Finally, the father slams his fist on the table: “I knew it — you’re grounded, young man. I knew you’d been eating pussy.”
What exactly does pussy taste like, though? Some have said that clean dick is most akin to avocado, while others say it can be more like dirty laundry. According to the people of Reddit, the range in palate varies much the same for pussy.
On January 14th, someone who has presumably never tasted a vulva took to r/Sex to gauge the public’s opinion on the matter. “What food could you compare the taste of good pussy to?” they asked. “I’m just curious what people mean when they say they can eat pussy for days. Is there anything that you can relate the taste to?”
Among the top answers were tastes that don’t qualify as food at all. PlayStation 4 “fan air” came in first place, with over 1,000 upvotes. Air from a tire was cited as similar. Coins were another popular pick, something many people say dick tastes like, as well. Many of the actual foods people brought up were potentially even more unappetizing, depending on your perspective. “On the best day, an unseasoned waterlogged steak,” one woman said. “On the worst day, another man’s cum.” Oysters and salt water brine were popular choices, too.
But there were a few people whose selections were sweet, both literally and figuratively. Many portray a true fondness for vaginas, even nostalgia. “I can’t help thinking of my girlfriend whenever I eat chilled mango or sugar apple — the texture, juiciness and the satisfied feeling,” u/aznttk said. Others said honey, fruit or sweetened yogurt.
Generally, though, the consensus was that most vaginas taste different, depending on how recently a person showered, their diet or some other unknown variable in a person’s sexual DNA. Basically, it’s the same story with dicks. For the most part, a perfectly clean set of genitals, whatever they may be, won’t taste much like anything. The point, though, is that most people don’t eat pussy specifically because they like the flavor — if they do, that’s just a bonus. Instead, it’s most likely that the people who claim they could eat pussy for days say this because they enjoy the overall experience of pussy-eating.
In any case, bon appétit.
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
