A pineapple a day keeps the bitter spunk away. Yes, the urban legend is true: Fruit juice really does change the taste down there—and it’s not just for men. I’m basing this on anecdotal evidence, lukewarm expert approval and the industry knowledge of adult-film veteran Tasha Reign.
“What you eat directly affects how you smell and how your vagina and cum tastes,” Reign tells MEL by email. “Before a seasoned performer shoots, he or she will drink pineapple juice or fruit or something sweet. I’m a vegan, so this is important to me. No smell, or good smells, create a better environment for sex.”
Just ask the Kardashians.
In Kim K.’s latest Instagram thirst trap, the most famous sister sits with her legs spread at the edge of some kind of pool or spa, a can of Dole pineapple juice cracked open for consumption, instructing her followers and the implied universe at large to “Google the benefits of pineapple juice.”
She wasn’t shilling for Dole (that we know of), but there was likely an enigmatic, deeper subtext. Dick-deep. Many people swear by the idea that if you drink pineapple juice or eat pineapple prior to boning, your genitals will taste and smell sweeter and better.
The Kardashians’ ‘Smell-Off’ Shows It’s Not Just About the Juice
This isn’t the first time Kim and her extended clan have pitched pineapple juice as a magical eradicator of all pussy smell. Most notably, a 2013 episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami features the sisters hosting a “vagina smell-off,” wherein sister Khloé presides over a vaginal sniff test of Kim and Kourtney to decide whose vagina doth stink the least.
“I need to get as much pineapple juice as I can,” Kourtney says. “It makes the vag smell good.” They wipe their vaginas with hand towels and hand them to Khloé, who concedes that judging “pineapple pussy” isn’t her idea of a good time, but she’s willing to take one for the team. The verdict: While Kourtney’s pineapple-induced vag smells “like a tropical island,” Kim’s smells like “a flower pussy.”
Khloe concludes, “Honestly, I will say that Kim’s pussy smells the best — she’s the kitty winner.”
It’s All About Hydration and Hygiene
In the intervening years, numerous experts have been consulted on whether pineapple juice does in fact pass the smell test. BuzzFeed explained in 2016 that it’s not a completely garbage myth:
Your bodily fluids — like sweat, saliva and vaginal secretions — can all be influenced by your diet and lifestyle habits. For instance, eating lots of fragrant, pungent foods (think spices, garlic, meats, etc.) can make your fluids take on a little more pungent aroma, says [sex therapist Madeleine] Castellanos. Ditto for smoking cigarettes or drinking a lot of alcohol. Whereas eating sweeter foods and staying well-hydrated could lead to a less aromatic experience.
The main thing to realize here, though, is that really nothing you ingest is going to magically perfume your genitals in, say, a half hour. You’d need to consume it well before the sex act, either by several hours or even the day before. And it’s not like it will somehow mask whatever else you ate. So if you pounded asparagus with a glass of pineapple juice, it’s anyone’s guess whose smell argument is going to win the day.
For Sweeter Spunk, Do This
The same rules apply for jizz, which may need an even longer lead time. “In some ways, ‘you are what you eat,’” urologist Koushik Shaw told Health. But not immediately. “Prostate fluid in ejaculate can be made weeks or months before.”
Writing for YourTango, one woman experimented by having her boyfriend drink lots of the stuff on a road trip. She normally found the taste of his semen fairly gross, but this time it was more palatable.
Swishing him around my mouth, I realized it actually did taste significantly sweeter. Not crème brûlée sweet, but sweet enough to neutralize any harsh flavors. Gone was the bitter, sour taste and in its place was a neutral, lightly sugary taste that was much more palatable than the original.
Trouble was, when he went down on her to test the results, he said she tasted exactly the same.
Last year, chemist Anne Marie Helmenstine reviewed the existing data on the matter to put an end to the debate. She concluded that while other factors in addition to diet, such as your overall health, are part of the smell, “limited data finds both male ejaculate and female vaginal secretions are affected by pineapple,” she writes.
What Kind of Pineapple Works Best?
“It doesn’t seem to matter whether the pineapple is fresh, canned or juiced,” Helmenstine explains. “The effect is not noticeable immediately after eating a few bites of pineapple. Most respondents saw a definite effect after eating pineapple for several days. The effect relates in part to the way food affects mucus production and composition. Chemicals in foods you eat are found in most secretions, including perspiration and breast milk as well as semen and vaginal fluid.”
It All Comes Down to Diet
It’s important to note that it’s not just what you consume, but also what you don’t. So if you really don’t want a sour taste down below, you should also avoid coffee, smoking, drugs, onion, garlic and the brassica family of vegetables, like asparagus, broccoli and cauliflower.
I’ve said it before: There is a right and wrong way to receive oral, and a little consideration goes a long way. Eating pineapple may work, but it’s no solution to a smelly diet. It’s certainly not going to hurt anything by gulping on some pineapple chunks or slurping juice well in advance of a sex date — but hydrate thoroughly, eat clean and try a burpee instead of that morning coffee. That’ll do more to help guarantee a second coming.