Uncle Sam Says ‘Please Send Nudes,’ Dads’ Searing Hatred For ‘Caillou’ and Where to Put Your Balls When You Sleep

Something tells me not to trust the current U.S. government to safeguard your dirty photos, no matter how much sense it makes to get them copyrighted. I mean, this is the same government that somehow misplaced the entirety of its neo-Nazi files recently, but hey, give ‘em your dick pics for watermarking if that’s what moves you.

But if Mitch McConnell starts DMing you a bunch of tongue emojis at three in the morning, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Must Read

“The Government Wants to Help You Copyright Your Nudes”
Deep within the stark white walls of the U.S. Copyright Office, a league of specialists from multiple departments unite to issue legal protection to your thirst traps, butt selfies, cake sits, sex tapes, wet T-shirt championship photos and more — a service that has to be among the strangest, least expected interactions between the U.S. government and its citizenry. The reason is simple: Nudes, like non-nudes, have creative value, and copyrights exist to promote creativity. But while the pursuit of a copyright might be worth it, the fact that the government is basically saying “please send nudes” might give some people pause. READ MORE

A Conversation With Director Riley Stearns On ‘The Art of Self-Defense’

Not quite a sports movie, not quite a send-up of Fight Club and never quite what you think it’s going to be, The Art of Self-Defense is an exploration of the beta-male mindset that’s equally sincere and satirical.

Tim Grierson sat down with the film’s writer and director, Riley Stearns, to discuss the art of subversive comedy, and how a couple of bad years in Stearns’ life and a little jiu-jitsu inspired one of the year’s funniest films.

Might Fuck Around and Watch ‘Breaking Bad,’ Heard It Was Good

Recently, Miles Klee’s Boomer father started watching AMC’s groundbreaking TV show about life in the meth trade, happily thanking Klee for the suggestion.

Sure, it might sound strange to pick up a show most people stopped watching years ago, but in an era of Peak TV where there’s not enough hours in the day to catch up on tentpole shows, maybe the elder Klee is onto something.

‘Caillou’: The Devil Incarnate

Sorry, everyone, but as mad as even Trump might make you, you don’t know intense hatred until you’ve watched Caillou:

This seemingly innocent children’s TV show about a little bald boy has dads in particular ripping their goddamned hair out, and yet kids, they can’t get enough of it. So why the disconnect? Quinn Myers spoke to experts on the topic to find out why.

Ball Placement

Here’s something you might not think about, but sits in the back of your man-brain, instinctively: How should I arrange my balls when I sleep? Sadly, finding the most comfortable nighttime placement is often a lesson in futility. Because while there might be plenty of options, none of them seem to ever really feel right for guys with picky scrotums.

Daddy’s Got His Gun

You know what’s frickin’ hilarious? Brandishing a weapon in front of your daughter’s prom date. Just ask former NFL kicker Jay Feely, who, if you remember, did exactly that last year to cheers on one side of the political spectrum and horror on the other:

But Feely’s tweet wasn’t the first time a dad’s pulled a piece for the lols. In fact, it happens so often it’s practically a meme. So the question becomes, when — and how — did dads getting strapped to scare some poor kid looking to date their daughter become a thing? Tracy Moore has got the fully loaded history.

Busy Earnin’

Can payday lending ever not be predatory? That’s the idea behind Earnin, a new app that allows users to borrow cash daily against their weekly or bi-weekly paychecks, without crippling fees or interest charges and with only “tipping” keeping the app afloat. But many see the service as too good to be true, and judging by the fine print, they might be right.

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Jeff Gross

Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.