Grab some popcorn, because damn, the president’s been teaching a masterclass on “tweeting through it” all week, but now it’s starting to get really good. Behold:
We could all learn a thing or two about how, when the going gets tough, go full-tilt in the wrong direction and hope you come out the other side. Sure, it’s never worked for anyone, ever, but I think he’s onto something here.
“A Brief History of the Billionaire Sex Island”
Nothing in life is certain but death, taxes, and if there’s a pile of sand surrounded by an ocean, rich people will want to fuck on it. Dead pedo Jeffrey Epstein is perhaps the most infamous of these rich island fuckers, but such private oases were a hot commodity as far back as the pioneer days, and have only grown more popular since. While it’s unlikely that everyone who at one point owned the island used it as some kind of fuck pad, it’s not hard to believe, either. READ MORE
Love That Joker
Batman might be the beloved big-screen, small-screen and comic-book hero of Gotham, but it’s always been Batman’s arch-nemesis, the Joker, in his equal number of iterations, who’s best reflected our cultural consciousness. Noel Murray argues that, from pop-art prankster to post-9/11 conscience pang to incel violence inciter, the clown prince of crime has (almost) never failed to reflect our times.
What’s in a Name?
Color us confused that an expectant couple can gleefully give their child embarrassing-ass rich-people names like “Fanny,” “Humphrey,” “Mortimer” and “Edwina,” but as soon as you opt for “low-class” names like “2nd,” “Yeah Detroit,” “Keenan Got Lucy” and “4Real,” entire governments get their panties in a twist?
On Tweeting Through It
Meat On Them Bones
You are not a hibernating bear — you are a man with a few too many extra pounds. So why are you defending getting “soft for the winter,” as if your flab is some sort of home-grown insulation? Yes, having a higher BMI can help us regulate our temperature when we get cold. But pretending that’s an excuse to finish a pint of Chunky Monkey in one sitting ignores some basic facts about human anatomy.
Do the Furries Want to Fuck the Masked Singer (Y/N?)
Turning the Exercise Frown Upside-Down
No one would ever describe going to the gym as “fun,” but with the right tips and tricks from people who are at their happiest when they’re working out, you can at least make it tolerable — maybe even borderline enjoyable.
Lmao, ‘Computer Glasses’
People have been buying cool-sounding bullshit for years — looking at you, SlimFast Soylent — but “computer glasses,” i.e., special glasses that purport to block the oft-maligned blue light your electronics emit, might take the cake. Not only are they exorbitantly priced, there’s no proof they even work!
Why Do Guys Find the Splits So Goddamned Sexy?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯. But they do, they really, really do.