The Summertime Stripper Blues, Trump <3 ‘Bloodsport’ and Why Spitting in Someone’s Face is the Boldest Move of All

Cash burning a hole in your summertime wallet? Consider blowing it all at your local strip club. Hear me out: Summer might be the high season for a lot of businesses reliant on the weather and people being out and about — think ice cream shops, hotels, landscapers, etc. — but for women running their own small business at the nudie bar, summer is as dead as a doornail.

You don’t want anyone going hungry, do you? So please, this dry season, do your part and make it rain.

Must Read

“An Oral History of Trump’s Love of Van Damme’s ‘Bloodsport’”
While we don’t know for sure that the Jean-Claude Van Damme cult classic Bloodsport is Trump’s favorite movie per se, the president hasn’t exactly been quiet about his undying love for the film. Brian VanHooker chronicled the entire wacky history of Trump’s adoration for Bloodsport, and spoke to the writer and producer of the film about what they think of Trump’s fandom. READ MORE

How Dare You Spit

Spitting in someone’s face is a bold move, Cotton. While there’s no element of pain, the gross-out effect and downright disrespect of the tactic might make it the ultimate form of humiliation. And though it might seem like a safer alternative (in a legal sense) to throwing a punch, it can still earn you a charge for assault. Miles Klee wiped away the spittle from this disgusting power move to find out whether spitting on someone is ever really worth it.

Blinded by the Laser-Pointer Light

What do people use laser pointers for — I mean really use — anyway? Directing the heavy-lidded eyes of students in a lecture hall? Shining at police helicopters and getting arrested for it? Blinding yourself? There’s no solid answer, but laser pointers remain one of those ubiquitous novelty items that, deep down, you know you covet — kinda like a samurai sword. Ian Lecklitner investigated the history of laser pointers, from the safe-for-school variety to the shine-on-the-moon kind. 

Just a Boy, Broadcasting to a Sea of Girls

Celebrity culture has evolved so much in the social media age. These days, with a bit of luck, your average teen boy can grow a massive following simply by live-streaming his average life and average personality — no sex stuff required! Jawline, a new documentary about to be released on Hulu, explores the surreal, asexual phenomenon of “boy broadcasts” and what they tells us about teen anxiety.

Pop Quiz, Car Guy

So you’re in the market for a new whip, and you have your eyes on something flashy and red. Problem is, you heard that red cars are cop magnets, so you ask a friend for his opinion. He tells you that:

A) Yes, driving a red car is just as bad as having a bumper sticker that says, “I’m drunk and carrying multiple illicit drugs and unregistered weapons.”

B) Cops love the color red, because it reminds them of blood, and power. Since blood and power are all that cops crave, they’re now satisfied, and thus less likely to pull you over.

C) Some studies suggest that red cars are ticketed slightly more than average, but not enough to avoid buying a red car, if that’s what you really want.

The correct answer is… C! Look, if you want a red car, buy a red car. But if you really want to avoid running afoul of the police, you should be more worried about the model than the color.

Flava Flavonoids

A recent study found that people who consumed flavonoid-rich foods like berries and hot peppers lived longer, even if they smoked, drank or were overweight. So is adding some blueberries to your cocktail the key to longevity? Not so much.

Trivia, But Make It Thotty

Writing Instagram captions can be tricky. Inspirational quotes, song lyrics or even leaving the field blank are all frowned upon. At the same time, though, you’re just posting a selfie — no need to get too deep about it. Kane Mangan, a 28-year-old from Sydney, Australia, has gained some attention not just for his ingenious solution to the problem, but the type of selfie that solution is juxtaposed against: Using a completely unrelated trivia fact as his caption to his emoji-censored nude pics. Hey, might as well learn something new while you’re scrolling through thirst traps!

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Magdalene Taylor

Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.