1-15-19

The ‘666’ Rule, the Straight Men Who Love Male Porn Stars and How to Last Longer in Bed

You could read this piece on tips and tricks for lasting longer in bed, courtesy of sex coach (and friend of MEL) Sunny Rodgers. You’d definitely learn a thing or two, if you were interested in that sort of thing.

Or, you could do what I do.

First, I start by thinking of the names, positions and batting averages of the starting lineup for the L.A. Dodgers. When that’s done, I count, one one-thousand style, to 100. After I hit 100 I do the alphabet — but starting at Z, backwards!

That shit works, no joke. I’ve gone like seven minutes that way.

Must Read

“The ‘666 Rule’ Is Funny and Smart and Will Probably Offend a Lot of People”
Six feet. Six figures. Six-inch cock. The 666 Rule may be unapologetically shallow, a little crude and pretty funny considering the shit men get for being hung up on cup size or blondes. And while it’s unlikely people follow it in earnest, if those dimensions are what’ll make you happy, chase that dream. Just remember: Two out of three ain’t half bad. READ MORE

Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting

Nunchucks are back, baby! No, really. Until recently, they were illegal to use anywhere but a dojo. But martial artists all over the world have rediscovered these ancient Okinawan weapons, and when they’re not bringing the nunchuku art form into the 21st century, they’re hitting themselves in the face for their craft — a la our very own Eddie Kim.

Roid Rage

We all know Jon “Bones” Jones fucked up before UFC 232 when a drug test turned up trace amounts of the steroid turinabol in his bloodstream, forcing the entire card to relocate from Las Vegas to L.A. But what this piece from Oliver Lee Bateman presupposes is, maybe he didn’t — at least according to the UFC’s main testing agency, which also happens to be funded by the federal government?

Grumpy Old Men

The geezer buddy comedy is a tried-and-true trope in Hollywood. From The Sunshine Boys to The Last Laugh, the new Netflix film starring Chevy Chase, movies have always tried to find the bright side to getting up there in years. The problem is, their laughs are usually as old as the actors in the film, eschewing a thoughtful meditation on aging for cheap punchlines.

Make it a Double

Bars: How do they work? Honestly speaking, most 20somethings don’t really know for sure, and it’s making them look like noobs. That’s okay, though. Everybody’s gotta learn sometime. So, particularly for the uninitiated, these are the rules.

Love That Dick

As we reported last month, lots of men watch only lesbian porn in order to avoid seeing dicks and “turning gay,” which places straight guys like Burke on the complete opposite side of the spectrum: They stan their big-dicked porn star kings.

Checking Out

We’ve opined long and hard about the virtues of therapy. But after you’ve seen a therapist for a while and you feel like you’ve achieved some level of personal growth, how do you know when you’re good to go (or rather, not go anymore)?

This Is Depressing

Did you know that, in this country, you’re more likely to be killed by opioids than a car crash? More specifically, Americans now have a one in 96 chance of dying from an opioid overdose, whereas the odds of dying in a car crash are one in 103. And, as bad as that sounds, it’s actually way worse than that.

All Night Long (All Night)

Who isn’t a man who wouldn’t like to last longer in bed? Shit, most of us are good for five minutes, tops. So if us guys were interested in going like the Energizer Bunny, how would they do it? We asked clinical sexologist and certified sex coach Sunny Rodgers, and she told us that there are several simple ways to increase your sexual stamina — and some of them actually work.