Straight Men on Eating Ass, the Lengths Muslims Go to Keep Their Asses Clean and the Kind of Sex People *Really* Want on Valentine’s Day

I’m not really into ass eating, but damn if I’m not fascinated by the people who are. The other thing that similarly fascinates me: How it took Ass-Eating SZN to be meme-ified before wannabe ass eaters felt comfortable enough to act on it. Isn’t that sweet? Folks are finally getting to live their best ass-eating lives. 

Anyway, there’s a ton to unpack (lol) in today’s must read on the straight men who love a good butt snack, so let’s get to it.

Must Read

“Do Straight Men Really Eat a Lot of Ass Now? An Investigation”
Ass Week continues today with a piece of hard-hitting journalism on a topic that’s overwhelmed the zeitgeist for a few years now: Eating ass. Plenty of digital ink has been spilled on the analingus renaissance among the hetero set, both on MEL and elsewhere. But anecdotally, from the people in the streets and between the sheets, it’s been difficult to get the straights to cop to doing it. That is, until now. Because Madeleine Holden has interviewed 60 men who sleep with women about how the mainstreaming of eating ass has impacted their willingness to partake in this activity — both giving and receiving. And the results are in. READ MORE

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

Speaking of asses, what’s with the myth that Muslims don’t know how, or don’t care, to wipe their butts?

Tweets like these are a dime a dozen, and Muslim’s like MEL’s own Hussein Kesvani are perplexed by it, considering that Muslims are even more into cleanliness down there than non-Muslims. For real, though — Allah demands it.

Himotes, Unite!

As much as we Americans wish we could jump on the incel grenade and prevent its export to the rest of the world, it turns out incel-dom isn’t unique to the U.S. Japan, sadly, has them, too. Called “himotes” — which translates in English to “non-mote,” “mote” being the Japanese term for “popular with the opposite sex” — Japan’s incels aren’t just railing against love. They’re actively plotting a Marxist revolution against all types of romance and the capitalism that supports it.

You Lookin’ at Somethin’, Friend-o?

Eye contact is one of the most important ways two people can connect — emotionally, romantically and professionally. But how much eye contact is too much eye contact, or too little? And the answer is, it depends — are you having sex, in a job interview, trying to pet a strange dog or attempting to do all three at once?

Budgeting for Butt Plugs

Camming seems like an inherently profitable profession, requiring little but a willingness to get off in front of strangers on the internet. But the truth of the matter is, camming is a business just like any other, and camboys have to invest in their craft if they hope to make a profit. Ian Lecklitner spoke with two well-known cammers, Benji Bastian and Jakub Stefano, about the hidden costs of camming.

Straighten Up

Yeah yeah, slouching is soooo bad for us. From “text neck” to “nerd neck,” you can’t throw a stone without hitting some report online about how we’re all fucking up our spines. And that’s after years of hearing our parents, teachers and even coaches giving us guff about our posture.

But what if it was all for naught? Because a new study argues that maybe there is no such thing as “good” or “bad” posture, and that there’s no relationship between slouching and spine health anyway.

Don’t Fuck Up Fucking Tomorrow

People are feeling some serious pressure to step up their sex game on Valentine’s Day. After all, it’s the most romantic day of the year, which means going with the typical penis-through-pajama-hole sex isn’t gonna cut it. Right??? WRONG. Because a recent survey revealed that all people really want on V-Day is some vanilla, missionary-style fuckin’.

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Jeff Gross

Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.