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A Totally Practical, Real-World Guide to a Spit-Roast Threesome

It can be hard to nail the rhythms and dynamics of this decadent act, but with a little luck and the expert advice that follows, you’ll be well on your way to a wholly wholesome time

Earlier this year, 33-year-old Finn — who uses a pseudonym — was spit-roasted for the first time. “I did it with my boyfriend and a close friend that we both know well,” he tells me. “That was a good fit, because it’s quite a vulnerable position to be in. Having the established trust was important in making it sexy and fun.” 

But while being railed anally by his boyfriend, Finn accidentally choked on his friend’s dick during a particular intense bout of face-fucking. “I learned a key tip in that exchange,” he continues. “If you choke on the dick in your mouth, your hole will seize up and force out the dick in your butt. Then your top will bang his dick against your clenched hole and yelp in pain!”

Accidents like these are pretty much bound to happen when it comes to spit-roasting, especially for newbies. Also known as double penetration, this deliciously filthy sex act involves being pounded in two holes simultaneously: It could be your asshole and your mouth, your mouth and your pussy, your nostril and your ear… you get the picture. And given that spit-roasts are basically the final boss of penetrative sex, it’s worth listening to the totally practical tips from connoisseurs before you take the plunge.

Billy Procida, an OnlyFans creator and host of the Manwhore Podcast, knows a thing or two about this, and it all stems from real-life experience. His top tips sketch out a blueprint for a kind of spit-roast etiquette, with his best advice being to “respect the rhythm” — especially if you’re the one being fucked. “Threesomes are super exciting, but don’t let yourself get too carried away,” he tells me. “You don’t want to be responsible for someone leaving the spit-roast with teeth-shaped dents on their cock.”

(This advice doesn’t apply if you’re being face-fucked by a strap-on. If you need to bite down in this circumstance, then go for it.) 

In other words, if you’re the one being roasted, let the natural rhythm of your partners be your guide and try to relax around that — that way, dicks or strap-ons stay in holes, and you can focus on more important things. That said, if your partners are willing to be relatively still, the roastee can control the rhythm themselves, if that’s more comfortable. 

Different tips apply for different genitals, too. If you have a pussy, clinical sexologist Ness Cooper advises plenty of foreplay to get yourself nice and wet before penetration. If you’re nervous, she recommends a “tap out” system à la pro wrestling — if you’ve got both holes plugged but you’ve had enough, tap rapidly on the nearest surface (or on the spit-roasters themselves) to signal that you need a break.

As for positions, Cooper says, “If you want more control when being spit-roasted, try it with the individual you’re giving a blow job to sitting on the edge of the bed, while you’re on all fours on the floor with the other person penetrating you from behind.” This gives the spit-roastee plenty of freedom to wiggle around and reposition if they’re being fucked too deep in either direction. This is where non-verbal communication comes into play, too. “Be sure to say what you need and want beforehand,” continues Finn. “But while your mouth is full, you can communicate non-verbally by grunting, moaning and using your hands.”

If you’re one of the folks actually doing the pounding, make sure to keep the needs of your spit-roastee in mind. “Ask yourself questions,” continues Procida. “Are they getting tired? Do they need more lube? Maybe some nipple tweaks or a clitoral reach-around? Your spit-roasting teammate is a threesome red herring — the one getting filled out like a rental application is still your special guest of honor!” Cooper advises being chivalrous and stacking a few pillows for them, too. “This can reduce discomfort for those who can experience pain when being penetrated vaginally in doggy-style, as it allows for slightly less movement.” As always, having lube, condoms and toys nearby is high-class shit. 

If you want to push your limits further, try adding wearable sex-toys and experimenting with other positions. Cooper advises “lying side-on in a triangle formation,” which allows for more “intimate groping” and has the added bonus of being “less tiring than some other sex positions.”

So now you’re all set for your own spit-roast, but Finn advises against over-confidence, especially if you’re relatively new to being fucked. “If you’re an inexperienced bottom you might not get as much out of it,” he says, referring specifically to spit roasts in which an anus is involved. “I’ve done a lot of getting dicked down. I don’t need to focus on [anal] as much, which frees up some of my attention to blowing the other guy.” 

Put another way, it’s always best to prepare. Experiment with lubed-up dildos or a butt plug beforehand — that way, penetration will feel more seamless when the time comes. 

And remember, this is a group sport. If you’re one of the spit-roasters, Procida encourages you to “smile, encourage and congratulate each other. You’re teammates! If you don’t high-five at least once during the spit-roast, what’s the point?”