Article Thumbnail

Nick Finch Has the Most Charming NSFW Cooking Show on YouTube

Anyone can be a hot naked body making money online. But if you really want to stand out, you've got to pull some stunts

As a teen, Nick Finch had two dream jobs: YouTuber and fitness model. Now 27, Finch, better known as OfficialFinch93 on YouTube, has achieved both.

Well, sorta.

Finch represents a new kind of social media star, made possible by the rise of NSFW subscription sites like OnlyFans. You can watch his story-time videos about being bisexual, you can take his nutritional tips and you can check out his gifted underwear reviews. But you can also watch him cook with his own cum — and for $25, you can subscribe to his OnlyFans and see the jerk-off sessions that created his ingredients. It’s an unconventional formula, but it works: He currently has 104,000 Instagram followers and 88,000 YouTube subscribers, many of whom have been enticed by his unorthodox at-home recipes.

“This is the first time I’ve been interviewed,” Finch says timidly as we chat, but it doesn’t take long for him to relax and crack a few jokes. Even on Zoom — an awkward pandemic staple that requires its own social rulebook — he’s warm, charismatic and hilariously self-aware, not even giving a second thought when I ask for a step-by-step breakdown of how he bakes his own semen. Basically, he’s a social media wet dream: hot, naked and ripped, but relatable enough to not feel completely unattainable.

His journey to online notoriety began seven years ago, when he moved from Russia, his home country, to Canada. Before long, he took a job giving private dances in a local strip club. “I was there for maybe two weeks,” he recalls. “Nightlife just didn’t work well for me because I like a healthy lifestyle, but I also didn’t know what I was going for. My first night was a private dance, and then I got jerked off in the back of the room. That was unexpected for me. I was shocked! After a few nights, though, I knew I couldn’t keep working until 4 a.m. It wasn’t a long-term option.”

The job might not have lasted, but his nickname — “Fitch” — stayed with him. “When I was stripping, there was this European guy that looked like me,” he laughs. “They called us Abercrombie & Fitch. He was Abercrombie; I was Fitch.” A few weeks later, he followed the advice of a client and signed up to become a cam model. “When I was choosing my name, I chose ‘Finch’ because I thought ‘Fitch’ had an ‘n’! That was taken, so I added ‘93.’ I kind of like it now!”

After camming for two weeks, Finch quickly realized that raking in cash takes more than the occasional cock flash and a cheeky smile. Luckily, an admirer slid into his DMs and sent him $100 to buy a new webcam; after that, another advised him to switch over to Chaturbate, a streaming site where charisma matters just as much as the strength of your cum shots. “My first day, I was like, wow! I think I made $100 on that day alone. I had around 100 people in my room, but soon I had 200, and then 500. Next, I was first on the website.”

These sites rely on tips, which viewers buy and send to performers. It’s also standard practice to have “tip menus,” which are usually pretty predictable: $25 for an ass shot (no hole pics), $50 for cock. “A lot of people don’t talk to anyone, they just say, ‘Send money, send tips,’” Finch says, impersonating a bored, disinterested performer. “I scrolled through and thought these people had no personality, that I couldn’t talk to them.”

As such, he took a different approach. “Originally, I was setting goals to strip me off and get to a cum show, but then I started setting goals for silly stuff, like twerking or spinning my dick like a helicopter,” he laughs. “When people came into my room, they’d chat and have fun. Sometimes I do look back though, and I’m like, ‘Oh my god, that was so stupid!’” He also started using OhMiBod, a tip-controlled sex toy that allows fans to “torture” their favorite stars with vibration. At the time, he says it was only really used by women. “I feel like it ties into men feeling like anything anal isn’t ‘manly’ enough, you know? But I’m vers, and I have no problem doing that. Plus, I had a lot of fun with it!”

His fans grew more loyal, and soon they followed him across the internet — Instagram to YouTube to OnlyFans. “Aside from being a fitness model, I always wanted to be a YouTuber. People were telling me to do it and saying they wanted more of me, but I was so shy when I filmed my first video. Every time I watch it, I cringe!” Finch soon took a yearlong break, but he returned with sharpened editing skills and a bigger audience, thanks to his underwear reviews. Now, his videos are inventive and often hilarious — inspired by his years of watching pranksters like the controversial PewDiePie and VitalyzdTv.

“It’s weird, I’ll just be sitting there and a thought will pop into my head,” he says of brainstorming new ideas. “One day I was like, ‘I should clone my ass,’ so I did.” His back catalogue also includes a review of AutoBlow, a machine that feels like your dick is being sucked, and a handful of cooking videos, one of which is surprisingly educational.

If you ever needed recorded proof that cum evaporates when you fry it, look no further than the genuine masterpiece titled “Cooking Man Juice Experiment!!!” “One night, I decided to see how many times I could cum in a week,” Finch recalls, his story interrupted by the occasional giggle. “I think I came like 30 times that week! I had so much of it, so I thought, ‘What the hell, let’s just cook it and see what comes out.’” He kept his loads in the fridge before frying them, baking them and then eating them in a kind of kinky, slightly gross ASMR finale. “It looked disgusting,” he laughs, “but there was literally no taste! I didn’t mind the crunchy one actually, but I think [the cum] lost a lot of its flavor. Don’t cook your sperm.”

Fan comments were divided. Some treated him like a YouTube shitposter (“The internet was a mistake. We just gotta burn the whole thing to the ground”); one commenter advised him to take it “raw like sushi”; and some poor guy searched for “cooking with mango juice” and got way more than he bargained for. Still, some seem to get the point: “This is better than porn,” wrote Cinehotties Production. “At least he has personality.”

It’s true, these videos are a, um, stroke of marketing genius. Everything links back to Finch’s OnlyFans, allowing him to draw in viewers, tempting them with a preview — e.g., a carefully censored, jockstrap-clad cook-off or a neck-up shot of him being blown by a machine — of the X-rated stuff. “I’ve got to stop being so NSFW,” he jokes, telling me his Instagram has been disabled twice. (He recovered his account both times.)

Ultimately though, Finch believes the best way to move forward is to keep things lighthearted. It’s a formula that works for him: His self-described “FanFam” is growing daily, and he treats them regularly to livestreams and giveaways. Jacking off into takeout containers isn’t for everyone, but Finch is definitely in on the joke. “I know a lot of people don’t just watch my YouTube because they think it’s funny, but if you get my sense of humor and you find me attractive, that’s a bonus.”

Come for the gross clickbait, stay for the dick pics.