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The Ineffable Energy of Men Who’d Let You Finish First

Much like Big Dick Energy, the vibe of a man who’d make sure you came first is hard to describe. But that hasn’t stopped TikTok from trying to put words to the coveted quality

Just like “big dick energy” connotes that some men just look like they’d have a big dick, some men just look like they’d be sexually generous. On TikTok, musician @goldsoundz_ has spent the last 10 days compiling the guys she thinks fit this bill, listing off the men who she thinks would “make sure you finish first.” And as the range of characters across the 13 videos she’s made on the topic highlight, it’s a similarly ineffable quality as big dick energy, dictated more by vibe than anything else.


he’s so pretty when he goes down on me

♬ presave touch tank – quinnie

In her first video, her choices are relatively tame: singer-songwriter Jamie T, Elliot Page, Mac Miller, Kendrick Lamar and Harry Styles. Her second video includes another mix of singers and actors, though she throws in a curveball at the end with the inclusion of Vecna, a monster from Stranger Things. Her subsequent videos play on this dichotomy further — Dev Patel is listed alongside Shrek, for example. But it’s not all conventionally hot guys paired with bizarre fictional characters. Jack Black, Danny DeVito, Bernie Sanders and former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd make appearances, too. 

It’s these somewhat surprising inclusions that ultimately tie the videos together — it’s not merely about wishfully thinking that attractive men will prioritize a woman’s pleasure, or rather listing off the men who you’d want to give you an orgasm. Instead, it’s a combination of attractiveness, confidence, coolness, humor and general singularity of character that implies they’d get you off. 

That said, some of her picks are controversial. Naturally, there are those who don’t want to imagine DeVito going down on them (I, for the record, am not among them), but others don’t believe certain men would, in fact, make them cum first. In one video, @goldsoundz_ includes Jason Derulo, and all of the top comments are from women who disagree. “Jason would sing his name during…,” one replied

What is it exactly about Derulo that makes people firmly believe that he doesn’t care about a woman’s pleasure? Mainly, as the above comment implies, it’s that he seems far more invested in himself. He wants to look hot, cool or charismatic, rather than naturally being that way. 


and wouldn’t get weird about wearing a rubber.

♬ presave touch tank – quinnie

Some people also disagree with @goldsoundz_ about who’s been excluded. “Why isn’t Chris Evans in every single one of these?” someone wrote about her most recent video. I think, however, that this exclusion and related ones like Ryan Gosling (though his specific character in Drive is mentioned) are appropriate, and further bolster the overall ethos behind the trend: Just because a man is hot doesn’t mean he will be dedicated to making you cum.

In the case of big dick energy, it’s not simply being handsome that correlates with someone being well-endowed, and dick size isn’t what’s being described. The same holds true here. It’s nearly impossible for most of us to know for certain who would actually make sure you finished first, and it doesn’t matter in a literal sense anyway (some of those on @goldsoundz_’s list aren’t even human). Instead, it’s about trying to pinpoint that indescribable quality that often makes us attracted to someone, something much harder to describe and assign labels to.

For now, big dick energy and “will make you finish first” will have to do.