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Is Dick Breath Real?

Temporarily, yes

Saying someone has “dick breath” is really an insult that fires on all cylinders. I imagine it’s largely used by pre-teen boys still undergoing homophobic confusion, but that element could almost be irrelevant: Saying someone has “dick breath” implies that they not only recently partook in an extremely intimate, vulnerable act, but that it’s their hygiene specifically that betrays them.

Is dick breath real, though? 

Well, yeah, dude. Your breath is at least partially dictated by whatever you put in your mouth, hence… dick breath. Considering that a dentist can tell if you’ve sucked dick recently just by looking at your throat, I have to think it’s reasonable that a penis may also impact your breath. Even a clean dick probably has some of its natural essences and bacteria on it, and when those essences and bacteria meet the essences and bacteria of your mouth, a unique combo might be produced.

On a penis itself, scent and taste are produced largely from sweat interacting with the natural bacteria of the skin. In the mouth, the scent and taste of our breath comes primarily from food being broken down in the mouth. When someone doesn’t brush their teeth well enough, the remaining bits of food in the mouth will cause the natural bacteria of the mouth to grow and reproduce. It’s this process and the bacteria itself that can cause particularly bad breath. So dick breath could be the temporary result of the bacteria of the dick and the bacteria of the mouth meeting. The quantity of bacteria of each party would dictate the strength. 

Now, there is some warped theory that someone who sucks a ton of dick is going to have permanent dick breath. Like, no matter what this person does, even if it’s been a week since being around a dick, they have dick breath. This is, of course, just Urban Dictionary fodder. And though some Urban Dictionary terms are unfortunately a reality, like the Dirty Sanchez, there is no biological phenomenon that would cause someone’s breath to permanently smell like dick as a result of having dicks in their mouth. Someone could hypothetically have chronic bad breath that smells like dick just by coincidence, due to improper dental care or a variety of infections, but this isn’t itself dick breath. 

So, yes, dick breath is as real as like, garlic breath, but it’s not a chronic condition attributed to copious dick-sucking. Dick breath goes away with some good brushing and time. You can continue your blow-job habits in peace.