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ICYMI: World Cup for Dummies, Embarrassing Family Members and Dick Cheese

On any given day, there’s a metric-shit ton of content uploaded and published on the internet. Even if you work in one of those jobs where you dick around for eight hours and work for one, it can be tough to get around to it all.

Luckily for you, dear reader, we get how difficult it is to Fuck Around on the Internet. That’s why we’ve made it super easy to get all of MEL in one neatly organized place — in our new daily post called ICYMI (that’s In Case You Missed It, grandpa). Which, if it’s not clear already, you’re currently reading the inaugural post of.

So if you’ve got a lot of shit to do today, but you still want to fit us into your busy schedule, here’s where to start…

Must Read of the Day

A Brit’s Guide to the 2018 World Cup (for Americans Who Don’t Give a Shit)
For a month every four years, Americans forget that they care very little for The Beautiful Game and suddenly become USA soccer stans. But with the U.S. on the outside looking in this year (thanks, CONCACAF refs), there’s a lot less to get excited about. But there is a lot going on that is exciting about this World Cup, which is why we’ve conscripted our very own British person to explain from A-to-Z what we’ve got to look forward to. READ MORE HERE

At Your Service

A Gentleman’s Guide to Dealing With an Embarrassing Family Member
Last month, the Markle family circus that dominated the news in the run-up to the Royal Wedding™ got us thinking: What’s the best way to handle an embarrassing family member on your wedding day — or any other special event for that matter? Staff writer Andrew Fiouzi breaks down how to deal with your personal Samantha Grant, Roger Clinton, Fredo or any other person in your family you wish was, like, less in your family. READ MORE HERE

Oh Look, a Raccoon Scaling a Building!

Take a break from your worries with this intrepid trash panda.

3 Things We Learned

  1. Bootcut jeans may be the key to defeating the alt-right, but if you’ve got a dad bod, avoid them at all costs; they’ll make you “look sloppy, and give you a weird shape.”
  2. According to IMDb, there are apparently dozens of TV shows and movies with some variation of “dad” in the title. And trying to watch all of them will make you lose your god-damned mind.
  3. Why would a guy get a tattoo of another guy on their body, or (worse) on their face? There’s love and admiration; there’s alcohol; and then there’s the reminder not to “be a little bitch and hide in your room and masturbate.

We’ve Got Dicks Here

If there’s one thing to know about MEL, it’s that we love our dicks. They’re so weird! They do all types of strange things! They’re a source of equal amounts of happiness and disgust! Lucky for us (and you) we’ve got a guy on staff here who loves explaining why dicks do what they do, and all in only 60 seconds. He even does it in a disarmingly posh British accent.

Meanwhile, on Social

Yesterday, MEL contributor Jessica Ritchey wrote about the “unpopular opinions” meme and the erasure of women’s and minorities’ value as critics, sparked by a tweet that posited that Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo is only culturally relevant and important because of men.

To his credit, the author of that tweet, Crooked Media’s Louis Virtel, owned it:

Look, no one’s perfect; everyone steps in it at some point. How we respond to our transgressions (large or small) is, in this publication’s opinion, a true measure of a man. Louis, you done good.

And now, some LOLs