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ICYMI: The Return of Fanny Packs, the World of Chechen MMA and Very Long Balls (And What to Do…

ICYMI: The Return of Fanny Packs, the World of Chechen MMA and Very Long Balls (And What to Do About Them)

Before we dive into the good stuff, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the passing of one of the all-time greats—Aretha Franklin. I’m not nearly qualified to eulogize her; thankfully, Miles Klee wrote an incredible ode to the Queen of Soul and her innate ability to make grown men cry. I highly recommend you check it out.

I will say, however, that Aretha meant a great deal to me, and her death—along with those of Anthony Bourdain and L.A.’s favorite son, Jonathan Gold—adds another (and hopefully, final) gut punch to a very gut-wrenching summer. I developed a love for Aretha through my mom, who used to play her records for me as a kid. In a world where a multitude of interchangeable pop stars dominate the airwaves, her incredible, vibrant voice was unmistakeable.

Now, onto happier stuff…

Must Read

“The Cultural History of the Fanny Pack”
According to news outlet after news outlet after news outlet, the fanny pack is back, and it seems that we have Kendall Jenner to blame. Sure, most of us might have hoped fanny packs would simply stay dead, but their resurgence now affords us the opportunity to dig into their origin story and how they won the war against pockets. READ MORE

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble

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Sparing day ✨👊🏼

A post shared by Khamzat BORZ️ Chimaev (@khamzat_chimaev) on

In Chechnya, the only thing more popular than sporting short hair with a full beard is mixed martial arts (aka MMA). And rightfully so, considering that if a Chechen male wants to make it out of the war-torn region, his only escape is via the octagon.

Should a Black Man Play James Bond? Point, Counterpoint

Guy #1: “No.” <stomps feet>

Guy # 2:I’ve always thought that James Bond was a codename: Why else would a goddamned secret agent keep saying his goddamned name out loud, to every goddamned person he met? So to have a problem with Idris Elba playing James Bond feels like a small problem for the small-minded. Of course a Black man could play that role. The role is a role itself, which in no way demands that it be played by a white man.

Dude, Chill

Want to defuse a fight with your spouse or significant other? Learn to chill, bro.

Just don’t chill too long—too much chillage can give you crazy thoughts like you’re the “victim” and she owes you an “apology.”

Low-Hanging Fruit

There is, in fact, preventative maintenance that can address the causes of saggy balls before they begin to take effect, and if you follow this advice, you’ll wind up with nuts with the perfect drape. And don’t, whatever you do, get your advice from Yahoo! Answers:

Too Long, Didn’t Read

Ever stood in a long line at the supermarket with a box of hemorrhoid cream, penile ointment and/or the morning-after pill? That shit is EMBARRASSING. But it doesn’t have to be, and here’s why: