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ICYMI: France’s Jailbreaking Robin Hood, Nylon Love and the Kardashian-Pineapple Connection

How about that Thai soccer team? Thanks to the media’s diligent reporting on the situation, I admit I didn’t love their chances. So thankful, though, that Elon Musk took time off from being a billionaire to fly down with a disposable camera and a mini-sub no one asked for. Great photos, Elon.

Not sure about you, but to me, heading 10 kilometers underground sounds like a recipe for nightmare fuel. In fact, if you asked me if I wanted to go spelunking this Saturday, I’d tell you to fuck right off. But in fairness, I’ve always been more of a “brunch” guy when it comes to my weekends.

Anyway, here’s the very best of MEL from today…

Must Read

The Definitive Tale of Redoine Faïd: The Real-Life Movie Gangster Who Just Escaped a French Prison in a Helicopter”
The brazen helicopter escape of infamous French jewel thief Redoine Faïd from the Centre Pénitentiaire Sud Francilien in Reau on July 1 was perhaps the closest case of life imitating art ever:

Zaron Burnett explores Faïd’s most recent daring prison break, the humble beginnings to his life of crime and how he’s become France’s most famous and charismatic convict since Jacques Mesrine. READ MORE

A Quick Guide to Storing Your Hooch

If you’re the kind of guy who enjoys keeping a well-stocked bar, how you’re storing your liquor is nearly as important as what you’re storing. Sunlight, heat, even the positioning of a bottle can be the difference between a delicious cocktail and an oxidized mess. So follow these quick tips and never drink the turnt stuff again:

  • Wine (with a cork): Cool, out of the sun and horizontal so the cork stays wet.
  • Fortified wines/cream-based liqueurs: In the fridge to prevent spoilage.
  • Brown booze: Cool, out of the sun to prevent discoloration.
  • Clear booze: Fuck it, do whatever.

For even more liquor storage tips, click here.

On Hypocrites

You know who the biggest hypocrites are? The people who spend most of their time calling out hypocrisy in others. That’s just human nature, baby.

The Science of the Pre-Sex Pineapple Juice

A pineapple a day really does keep the bitter spunk away — and not just for men either. At least, that’s what adult-film veteran Tasha Reign has found. She and her fellow porn stars don’t expel bodily fluids without it:

Don’t just take her word for it — Kim Kardashian is apparently a fan as well:

View this post on Instagram

Google the benefits of pineapple juice 🍍

A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

But does the science back up what we know anecdotally? Find out here.

That’s My Fetish

Some guys like to watch ladies smoke cigarettes. Others can’t get enough of women sitting on cakes. Derek, a 44-year-old educator from Chicago, prefers the sheer, silky smoothness of pantyhose, and the cam girls who wear them. Here’s what Derek had to say when Tierney Finster asked him what he loves most about his fetish.

A Little Metal for Your Ride Home

What do you get when you combine a particularly pastoral section of New Zealand’s North Island, traditional Eastern Polynesian heritage and a “fuck the system” mentality? Thrash metal about the evils of colonialism sung with Maori lyrics, obviously.