It can be hard to get an honest opinion about your genitals. The people you fuck probably won’t tell you if your dick is gross, and your friends, if they see it, will quickly look away. So, where does that leave a guy? Comparing his penis to Tommy Lee or the “monster cocks” of porn?
For a healthier, more realistic perspective on your junk, you can enlist a sex worker to simply review it. Dick ratings have been a fairly popular phenomenon for a while now, with many OnlyFans creators specifically listing them as a service in their bios — even occasionally offering a free rating for new subscribers. But, what happens to those dick pics after they’ve been reviewed?
According to the law, nothing public can be done with them — that is, at least, if the sender copyrights them. Current copyright laws allow anyone over the age of 18 to claim legal ownership over their nudes, so if someone distributes another person’s dick pic without permission (whether the person sent it solicited or unsolicited), they can be sued. Sometimes, men will give permission for their dick pics to be published on websites like Bitches Rating Cock, where each penis is pictured next to its review, or Rate My Dick, which requires registration to leave and read reviews.
Legal stuff aside, I’ve imagined a number of theories about the location of discarded dick pics. Personally, I like the idea that there’s a dick-pic dumping ground somewhere on the dark web, where poorly rated cocks are hanging up row by row, gathering dust. Alternatively, maybe the dick pics are being donated to science, and some poor soul in a lab somewhere is trawling through them in an attempt to manufacture the perfect penis. Or are sex workers so turned on by the dick pics they’ve received that they print them out and hang them up on their walls? Although I can safely say “definitely not” to the latter, let’s find out anyway.
Nikita Rey, a 28-year-old OnlyFans creator from South Africa, says she receives an average of 10 dick pics a day — some of which are submitted for review, and some of which are just… submitted. “I don’t save the pics to rate them,” she tells me. “I either do it on my Twitter or via Snapchat, where I offer ratings out of 10, with a bit of info about what I like and dislike. I also do audio and video ratings.” When I ask if she ever goes back to get a second glimpse at a dick pic, she responds with a firm “no,” and adds, “I see enough dicks in a day.”
Furthermore, Rey’s clients don’t seem to care what happens to their dick pics after they send them. “No one has ever asked me to save a dick pic,” she explains. “They just remain chilling in my DMs.”
Unlike Rey, 23-year-old Sascha (a pseudonym) does save the dick pics she receives — but not for any horny reason. “If they’re requesting a cock rate , yes I save them,” she tells me, explaining that the sender likes to see her looking at his dick while she rates it (partly to check she’s really rating his). “But once I’m done, I never look at them again. The only dick I enjoy looking at is my partner’s; no one else’s really has an effect on me.” Sascha estimates that she gets on average five to 10 dick pics a day — not all of which are sent in for review, but all of which are solicited. She’ll rate one highly if it’s “clean-looking, groomed and uncircumcised.”
It’s not all about the look of the cock itself, though. Porn star Siri Dahl — who estimates she’s been sent over 800 cock ratings — previously told us that her ratings depend on the angle, photo quality and setting. “If a guy has a nice dick, but sends me a dick pic taken POV-style while standing over a toilet that needs to be cleaned, I’m giving him a 1,” she said.
So, maybe if the mise-en-scène of your dick pic was up to scratch, someone would be saving it to revisit on special occasions. Or, more likely, it would still end up in the dick-filled black hole that will, one day, inevitably engulf the internet itself. Until then, at least you know your dick is a 5/10.
Brit Dawson
Brit Dawson is a London-based journalist who mostly writes about sex, women's rights and sex work. She is also the staff writer at Dazed.
