Article Thumbnail

The Great Ballsack Beauty Guide

Wrinkles! Stinkles! Unwanted droop! Here’s how to solve the beautification blunders that befall your balls

Bollocks, testicles, yam bags — however you refer to them, it’s an undeniable fact that balls are hugely underrated. These veiny, palm-sized organs are essential; they store your baby-makers, self-regulate their own temperature and even come with their own adorable little sack, the scrotum. But while cosmetologists have racked their brains to find the best formulations for penile moisturizer, there’s still relatively little information out there on how to maintain a smooth, supple nutsack.

That’s not to say that guys aren’t asking how to beautify their balls, or that they don’t care about keeping their balls looking and smelling good. In fact, many are even turning to “scrotox” — Botox for your balls — to smooth out wrinkles and decrease sweating. Then, there’s the anecdotal evidence offered up by online forums, in which guys ask questions like, “Can you put moisturizer on your balls?” and “If you’ve had your balls waxed, what was the experience like? Is it worth it over just shaving?

To answer these curious queries, let’s dive deep into the world of scrotal beauty and hygiene.

Should I Moisturize My Balls?

The skin on your ballsack might be thinner and smoother than the rest of your body, but it’s skin, nonetheless. Sure, your nuts stay pretty snug and cozy inside your pants all day — and the amount of naturally occurring moisture down there means you don’t need to go too crazy — but you can slather it with drugstore lotion if you feel like pampering yourself. It’s hygienic, but not essential — testicular dryness isn’t a common issue.

Scrotal eczema is the exception to the rule. If the skin is feeling particularly red, raw or itchy, it’s best to check with a dermatologist, who will prescribe a treatment lotion. Fungal infections like jock itch can be common, too. Don’t panic, though — these are only minor health hiccups. With the right love, care and lotion, your balls will be bouncing and beautiful in no time. 

Nut-Shaving Etiquette

Razor burn is a bitch at best, but the hyper-sensitivity of your scrotum can make it extra irritating. If you do shave your nuts, be sure to lather up with a shaving cream or oil made with sensitive skin in mind first, and take a warm shower to open up the pores. Trim beforehand to prevent any hairs snagging, use a safety razor — or electric trimmers if you’re feeling brave, but take it slowly — and pull the skin taut for extra precision. Rinse with cool water, use an after-shave balm to soothe any irritation and then, to finish the job, go heavier than usual on the moisturizer to keep your balls feeling fresh. 

Then, there’s waxing. Ripping hair off your balls is unsurprisingly painful — one poor dude spoke to Men’s Health about his over-enthusiastic beauty therapist, who “kept slapping [him] after she pulled a slab of wax up and got the hairs, slapping and ripping hair out the whole time.” If that doesn’t sound kinky enough already, keep in mind you’ll likely be on your hands and knees with your legs spread for the procedure — “back, sack and crack” waxes are pretty popular, and a hairless asshole is often part of a package deal.

Dealing With Sweaty Balls

Anyone with a dick and balls will tell you that spraying anything with alcohol or menthol on your junk will seriously sting, but still, dudes are desperate to deodorize their nuts.

There are some obvious tips to lessen the smell — wearing cotton underwear to keep your balls cool, showering regularly — but there are also specific anti-chafing and deodorizing products from brands like Manscaped, if you’re looking for something guaranteed not to make it feel like your balls are on fire.

Baby powder might mask nasty smells, but it clogs easily with sweat; according to Reddit’s ball connoisseurs, medicated powders are best, as they’re more absorbent and custom-made for extra-irritable skin. Helpful bros in the TooAfraidToAsk subreddit offer up other handy tips, too: From baby wipes to trimmed pubes, there are plenty of ways to keep your nutsack smelling fresh without shelling out big bucks.

Botoxing Your Balls?

Per cosmetic doctor and intimate health specialist Shirin Lakhani, Scrotox was initially used as a treatment for scrotal pain. “Now, it’s used for similar reasons as it is on the face — to tighten the skin in that area and provide a fuller look with less wrinkles,” she explains. Curious millennials have increasingly been injecting their nutsacks with Botox — it can be used as a treatment for excessively sweaty balls, too. There are bonus effects, too — according to Innovative Men’s Health, the treatment makes your balls hang lower and look bigger, but as a handful of TikTok dick experts have pointed out, that can make your dick look smaller, too.

This is ballsack beauty taken to its logical extreme, and naturally, it’s spawned a whole sub-section of horny, YouTube clickbait, but the mere existence of Scrotox proves dudes want their balls to look camera-ready. If you don’t have a nutsack skincare regimen in place already, it’s worth starting — just a few small routine changes could really spruce up your scrotum.