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Your Back Hair Is Hotter Than the Hottest August Day

Embracing one’s hairiness is way sexier than trying to hide it

I could shed a tear for every man who has ever lamented over his back hair. Every shaved or waxed back is an absolute waste. I love a hairy back almost as much as I love a hairy chest. Both, from my perspective, are evocative of the particular brand of tiny-gold-chain masculinity that I’ve got a soft spot for, but it’s more than that. A hairy back is an object of intent and persistence. It’s an act of confidence in a society that shames the natural body. A hairy back is a rebellion, and it’s hot

Men are expected to dislike their hairy backs because it’s assumed that other people find them gross. Related searches for “hairy back” on Google are filthy with advice on how to get rid of it, from shaving to waxing to permanently lasering it away. Without spending thousands of dollars on the latter treatment, that back hair will always return — and fast. A shaved or waxed back has maybe one good weekend ahead of it before it becomes a bed of prickles. 

Further, back-hair removal must be done with someone else’s help in order to be completed properly. You cannot shave your back on your own at home, though there are countless products that would love to see you try. DIY attempts will only leave you patchy, followed by patchy and prickly. It’s just not worth it. 

Notably, my issue isn’t with men who don’t have hair on their backs by some genetic variable. My issue is with men who do not have hair on the back by an intentional effort to remove it. A naturally hairless back is acceptable. The point is, your back need not be much of an aesthetic concern. Soap, sunscreen and maybe some lotion are likely the extent of what your back needs, whether hair grows from it or not. 

I’m sympathetic, though, to the pressure some men might feel to remove their body hair. I’m also well aware that some people truly do prefer their male partners to have the skin of a baby seal. I’m just not one of them. 

If manscaping is what makes you or your partner happy, I have no business knocking it. But I absolutely loathe the idea of someone laboring over their back hair because they think it’s what I want. I prefer my himbos hairy.

Men at large should probably be doing more grooming than they do, but I don’t believe that back hair — something completely natural, innocuous and truly a chore to remove — needs to be included in this. Back hair is of no consequence. Maybe it gets sweaty, but you’re going to sweat anyway

Your chest hair, leg hair, arm hair, pubic hair, whatever — it’s all fine. If you absolutely must remove some of your body hair, at least stick to the regions you can reach on your own. The manscaping boom was a mistake: The more time you spend shaving your back, the less time you have to be nice to me. Please, just let that body hair fly. I promise to scratch your back in return when you get itchy.