Is it Labor Day yet? Don’t tell my boss, but I’m feeling a little like we should just take today off. Think about it: How much productivity does this country lose on the Friday before a long weekend? It’s got to be in the trillions, right?
And so, while I’ve dutifully showed up to do what I need to do, that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
That’s it, that’s all I’ve got today. My brain is already on a beach somewhere. As yours begins to wander, too, enjoy all of wonderful content, below.
Must Read
“The Secret Lives of HIV-Positive Men in Iran”
Over the last 20-plus years, cultural acceptance and medical advances have meant that Western men who are HIV-positive are living full, normal lives. But for poz men in Iran, life is extremely tenuous—afraid of being outed by a theocratic government in the name of HIV prevention, and reliant upon a sketchy black market for the drugs they need to survive. READ MORE
Naked and (Un)afraid
Why does a guy like the Naked Cowboy live a clothing-optional life? For starters, the fateful decision to strip down to his birthday suit for Playgirl in 1996 has opened all kinds of doors—from appearances on the Howard Stern Show to Fox & Friends to the Today Show. It’s also led to pretty chill after-work activities:
![](https://melmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/1NK5BQD7DYRECY8e_3A_Zpg.png)
Read about what life in the nude is like for the Naked Cowboy, as well as for an activist, pastor and reality star, here.
Be My Guest
I’m not the biggest fan of guests in my home. Not because I don’t like to hang out with people, but more because I’m not sure what weird shit they might see. Like, don’t open my fridge and pass judgement on that week-old bowl of Easy Mac I was saving for later, mmk?
![](https://melmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/0uoEmX9RWhf79yQIM.jpg)
As it turns out, I’m not alone—plenty of people get anxious about squirreling away objects of potential embarrassment when guests come over. In particular, staff writer Andrew Fiouzi spoke to a porn star, a parole officer and a self-proclaimed obsessive organizer about the first things they hide before their doorbell rings.
On Men and Groceries
![Man Groceries GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY](https://media.giphy.com/media/iGKXq1KERqXvi/giphy.gif)
For men, there are some universal truths: No matter how many times you shake it, you will never not drip pee in your pants; doctor visits are verboten—unless death and/or organic failure is imminent; and it’s better to work smart than it is to work hard.
Nowhere is that last truism more apparent than when it comes to bringing in the groceries. Why would a man make three trips to carry in six bags when he could carry all six bags in one trip—regardless of whether he loses all feelings in his fingers in the process?
Tell it like it is, guys:
“The fewer trips to and fro the better.” —Frank
“I’d say it’s stubbornness.” —G.J.
“It’s a ‘macho’ thing.” —Carlton
“Mostly, I think it’s laziness.” —Douglas
“Because we can.” —Eian
All of the above, I say. But here’s what actual PhDs and best-selling authors think about this grocery bag man-hack.
Big Ups for Push-Ups
What do you do when the cops are barreling down on you, and there’s no escape in sight? Drop down for a quick 10, duh.
The view from our @Delta flight at LAX. A guy ran onto the runway and started doing push-ups. Swiftly apprehended by @LAAirportPD before he could transition to sprints. @flyLAXairport #LAXPD pic.twitter.com/otYpZDO9cT
— Chad Ridgely (@ChadRidgely) August 27, 2018
So what is it about push-ups that holds a strangely masculine mystique? And why is the ability to do a lot of them the default measurement of our physical prowess? Miles Klee investigates.
Dude-Strology
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit: You’re dating an Aquarius who’s also a “double Scorpio.” What’s a Virgo to do?
You’re a Taurus, and your partner has just given birth to a Cancer—is your life effectively over?
Your Sagittarius girlfriend just announced that she’s switching careers. Should you, a level-headed and completely normal Pisces (like me, natch) worry about your collective finances?
Sounds like you need Taj.