By most standards, I qualify as a stoner. And yet, my stash is in shambles. I have a dusty bong, a graveyard of vapes, a dingy grinder and a faithful but feeble one-hitter. I get by, sure. But my stash is a disservice to myself and a disgrace to stoners everywhere. I need help, so for inspiration, I asked a handful of stoners what their ideal stash looks like.
This is what they suggested…
Sofiya Alexandra, co-host of the 420 Day Fiance podcast: If we’re talking dream setup, a box with this stuff will have you ready:
1) It’s nice to always have a sativa and an indica, depending on how you’re feeling and what you need. Indica for the sleepies or couch hangs, and sativa for a fun and creative or social time. Plus, of course, at least two lighters. Honestly, three. You already lost one while reading this.
2) If you fuck with vaping — which is nice if you live with someone who doesn’t smoke, or you find flower too harsh for your throat — Mini iStick is my favorite battery by far. It fits in the palm of your hand, it’s affordable, the charge lasts for a long time and the electronic display shows you what percentage of charge you have left before you need to plug in. Plus, easily adjustable voltage with arrows! None of this Morse code “press three times for the blue setting, five times for the red, seven for the blue, but we don’t recommend you use the blue — oops, you’re now somehow preheating your cartridge, and you can’t stop” bullshit. In fact, go ahead and buy two of these so you always have a backup.
3) If you prefer flower, you need a nice metal grinder. You gotta go for a heavy lil gal. Don’t even mess with those plastic ones. Golden Gate Grinders makes some good options for about $20.
4) Papers and wraps that are already infused with THC — you can’t always control the quality of the weed, but you can always control your papers! TWAX makes some serious ones that are infused with 100 milligrams of THC per paper that burn really well and take your joints to another level. Just don’t hurt yourself.
5) A bubbler. A bubbler is a tiny bong — I don’t think it needs more selling than that. It doesn’t get as gross as a pipe, and it’s not as hard to hide as a big bong. Plus, you’ll change the water in it way more often!
6) A rolling tray. Of course, you can roll a joint on anything, like a book or a table or whatever. But the rolling tray will keep your weed from drifting because of its raised edges, and also keep your surfaces free of stickiness from keef. I recommend going on Etsy and finding one that makes you happy — there are so many options by different artists!
Nore Davis, comedian and weed enthusiast: I love to smoke, eat and sleep, so my perfect weed stash would be a one-hitter, flavored Backwoods — like strawberry or cherry — and all the snacks, fam! Like, my cabinet looks like I sliced a small piece of my bodega off.
Rachel Wolfson, comedian, former budtender and host of the Chronic Relief podcast: A Phoenician grinder is really a good product. Spend that extra money. Get a nice grinder. Have a pack of Backwoods — Honey Berry or Russian Cream — for people who want a little bit of tobacco or who like smoking blunts. I love OCB papers, the king-sized OCB papers. Also, RAW papers. I like the thinner papers, because I feel like you can taste the weed more. Also, who likes the feeling of smoking paper?
I’m also a proponent for hemp wick, because when I use butane directly, I get headaches, and I think it ruins the taste of the weed. So, I recommend hemp wick for pretty much everything. Also, get a torch lighter. They’re great; I highly recommend them. And those lighters that stay lit — the ones they sell in the rotating glass at 7-Elevens. Those are good to have if you’re smoking outside.
Tiny scissors, too. I love a good pair of tiny scissors in a stash kit, because it really helps with rolling a joint, or if you need to cut some extra paper off. It makes everything neater and nicer.
I recommend a Puffco Peak for those who dab and who want a clean dabbing experience. You don’t need a torch or lighter — it’s electronic, I guess. It’s really dope. And I recommend a Volcano. That’s for the stoner who wants the cleanest high.
After a workout, you need Melt by Kush Queen. It’s topical, almost like IcyHot but medicated. And Wyld gummies. I’m loving them. I like edibles for travel and sleep. Some people like taking edibles during the day, but they make me tired.
You also need a dope ashtray. I’m born and raised in Las Vegas, so I love casino ashtrays — go to a vintage shop or a farmer’s market. And get a nice bag. There are brands that have bags that don’t smell. I recommend something like that, just to keep your stash a stash.
Nick, weed YouTuber: Everyone needs a lighter, an ashtray and probably a grinder. Beyond that, it all depends on how you like to smoke. If you’re a joint person, you’ll want rolling papers, a rolling tray and filter tips. If you’re a pipe person, you’ll want that. And if you’re on-the-go, you might want a one-hitter, as they’re smaller and more discreet — or even more discreet, a vaporizer. If you’re a bong person, you’ll want a bowl and your bong. Beyond that, there are a ton of accessories to make things easier, but they aren’t necessarily essential, such as rolling machines to help you roll a joint, or glass screens to keep your weed from being pulled through your bowl.
Kyle Kinane, comedian and weed lover: I got a sweet sherlock pipe from Slob the Glassblower. Also, I always have my nine next to my kit, because I can’t relax unless I’m strapped, yo.
Ian Lecklitner
Ian Lecklitner is a staff writer at MEL Magazine. He mostly writes about everyone's favorite things: Sex, drugs and food.
