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How I (Sort Of) Findommed a Findom

Victoria Silver is in the business of draining wallets — so why did she decide to send me cash?

On January 19, 2022, Victoria Silver had her highest-grossing day as a findom, or financial dominatrix. All told, the 23-year-old student — whose clients refer to her as “Mistress,” “Mommy” or “Goddess” — took in $7,000, much of it from one man she’d never spoken to before.

In a Twitter DM exchange, I ask Silver, who lives in New York, if she knew she was going to smash a personal record earlier that morning. “I had no idea!” she replies. At a baseline, she says, she aims to collect $300 per day, which comes out to about $10,000 a month. Her largest one-day haul up till that point was $2,600. While she’s also a writer and artist, as well as a pro dominatrix in the BDSM scene and OnlyFans model, she’s been a findom, “forcing” submissives to give her money, since late 2019. It became her primary income stream in February 2020. 

Silver and I are mutuals on Twitter, so I got to follow along as she raked in the cash, and when she passed the $4,000 mark, I realized I was hungry. I asked her if she’d give me some of that money for a pizza — which felt like a funny twist on her business, since she’s usually the one draining wallets with her demands. Somewhat to my surprise, she found my Cash App account and sent me $25. I ordered a large, delicious margherita pizza. Had I just findommed a findom?

It’s not quite a simple reversal, as Silver explains, because for submissives, seeing her buy me dinner with their money can be part of the kink. “It is 100 percent a cuck thing!” she tells me. “The subs in my life often pay men I admire or am dating, and the pizza was reimbursed maybe four times?” Yes, four people who read our interaction stepped in to give her the amount she’d gifted me. Essentially, Silver made money with this public display of spontaneous generosity. 

Another reason our transaction didn’t really count as financial domination is that we don’t have the necessary power differential. “As funny as it is to say [that you findommed me],” Silver says, “findom isn’t contingent on money itself, but the act of sending it as a form of sacrifice.” 

In the case of the paypig who shelled out thousands, the element of actual domination was unmistakable: He started off buying gifts from her wishlist on the commerce platform Throne, Silver says, “so I encouraged him to send more. He then messaged me on my OnlyFans, and asked me to add some gifts for my boyfriend, as he’s a cuck. He cleared off all the items, so I started adding $500 gift cards. Once he bought those, I knew to take as much as I could because he was a big spender.” 

Meanwhile, she continued to tweet about the rising dollar total, which “definitely inspired some new prospective submissives to approach and some old ones to ‘relapse,’ or send again after a period of abstinence,” Silver says. (She estimates that she has a core group of five or six submissives, and 30 to 40 “who come and go as they please.”)

It’s too soon to tell if the cuck with deep pockets will come back for more, but if he does, he can expect Silver to delve into his fantasies. “All relationships require care and intimacy to sustain,” she says. “Personally, in my findom practice, I like to grow with my submissives and get to know them. A lot of submissives treat dommes like kink dispensers, but when you allow the space for them to be humans with needs, you can develop a true and intimate dominant/submissive dynamic.” 

One that I’m pleased to find sometimes results in free pizza for yours truly. Such are the quirks, I suppose, of an erotic economy, and the amusing liberties of being a pro findom.

“It’s a pretty cool life,” Silver says.