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I Want to Marry the USPS Crop Top

The Postal Service wants us to look hot in the name of democracy

The U.S. Postal Service is selling crop tops. Yes, the slow-moving federal mailing company that delivers a birthday card with a $20 bill from your nonna every year is making some of the most progressive attire out there. 

In the spring at the outset of the COVID-19 pandemic, the Postal Service announced it was struggling to stay afloat. (No, our tax dollars don’t fund its work.) So, like any modern media company, the USPS started selling merchandise as a second revenue stream. (Which reminds me, you can buy MEL merch here.) 

There are mail carrier costumes for humans and pets. There are tote bags, framed Bugs Bunny stamps, coasters, toy 18-wheelers, backpacks, a T-rex 3D puzzle notecard set and, of course, presidential stamp puzzles. 

It’s an electric mix of memorabilia and knick-knacks for the history buff. Tucked within the 135 items for sale, though, is a statement that the USPS is here for queer rights. 

The USPS is selling crop tops. 

Last month, both New York Times and Business Insider covered the 49-year-old company selling thotty T-shirts. Queer people, who have long championed the return of the crop top, quickly latched on to the item. “It combined two things I’m into: supporting the post office and boys in crop tops,” says Sam, a 26-year-old in Los Angeles. 

Sam isn’t just a social media shitposter. He likes to think of himself as a bit of an activist. So don’t assume his impulse buy to facilitate hot pics on Twitter isn’t without a greater good in mind. “With all the really concerning news about the administration using the post office as a tool of voter suppression, modeling the crop top seemed like a fun way to bring some attention to the issue,” Sam says. Yes, himbo rights can save this election.

All joking aside, a crop top won’t save the USPS right now. In part because it’s actually so trendy it sold out.

K-pop stans and buying stamps in bulk won’t save our mail either. That’s on the government to, well, not rig the election at the expense of our constitutional right to a federal postal service.

Still, if you can get your hands on a USPS crop top, buy it. It’s one of the most unique mass-market crop tops available. The hem is unfinished, as if cut by scissors. The graphic, colorful envelopes pop against the black stamp background. Plus, it’s a crop top with sleeves. 

“Like whose idea was this?” Jay, a 28-year-old crop top enthusiast in Charlotte, North Carolina, tells me. “It might be my favorite crop top I own right now.”

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