For most guys, cumming too quickly during sex is somewhat of an embarassing moment. For a select few, being embarrassed about it is actually something they enjoy. And for an even rarer set, cumming fast isn’t something to feel ashamed about at all — it’s something to aspire to.
This is particularly true on Reddit’s r/PositivelyPremature, where a troupe of 1,500 members believe premature ejaculation should be treated, well, positively. “[r/PositivelyPremature] is dedicated to those who think it’s a good thing for guys to cum fast,” reads its description, further stating that the group is intended for men who cum quickly (or want to do so), as well as for women who like it when their male partners blast off fast. It’s not a place for porn, and humiliation and embarrassment aren’t allowed. Instead, it’s purely a space for advice, stories and discussion of premature ejaculation, specifically through the lens of it being desirable.
For most, the appeal of cumming quickly is related to the idea of a woman being in total control (currently, the subreddit is focused on heterosexual, cisgender couples). Many of the posts from women discuss how their partner cumming prematurely makes them feel powerful, as though they’re so attractive or sexually skillful that their partners simply can’t handle it. The most popular post on the sub comes from a woman who trains her partners to cum quickly by progressively requiring them to wear thicker condoms and encouraging them to refrain from ejaculating while wearing them. In turn, when she does allow them to have sex with her without the condom, they cum far more quickly than before.
“No more getting pile-driven into the headboard and given an unwanted facial by the well-hung frat guy or cocky businessman,” she wrote. “No, no, these gentlemen are now wrapped around my finger. They dominate in business, but I dominate them. My guy now used to gag me with his big cock, fuck me like a fuck toy in the bedroom and shoot his cum wherever he pleased. Now the only place he cums is on the floor or in the condom when I try and roll it on.”
Naturally, posts like hers are well-received by r/PositivelyPremature’s subscribers, with guys commenting on how hot her story sounds and calling her a “pure alpha.” In addition to other posts from women explaining how they encourage their partners to ejaculate prematurely, there are also numerous men attempting to induce it in themselves through practices like only allowing themselves to masturbate for a specific period of time or wearing chastity cages.
Among others, premature ejaculation is discussed more as a matter of utility. In a recent post, redditor vinkypinky wrote that he typically cums in 30 seconds or less with his wife, which works just fine for their busy schedules. Because she knows he’ll get off fast, they get to have sex more often, and he’ll also happily go down on her before or after. And as boobgrowth (whom I recently spoke to as one of the moderators of r/PenisShinking) explained two months ago, premature ejaculation has historically been a biologically advantageous trait. “Human beings would have been constantly under threat of war, predators, etc.,” he wrote. “Impregnating your woman faster would have been ideal.”
Such a theory does have evidence to support it — in the primate world, monkey species who ejaculate more quickly have less conflict among males, potentially leading to longer lifespans. That said, premature ejaculation can also be a cause of infertility in humans if ejaculation occurs prior to penetration.
Either way, the fact that it’s so beloved in certain corners of the internet is significant — per the Cleveland Clinic, between 30 to 40 percent of men will experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lives, and it’s one of the most common concerns of men seeking sex coaching or therapy. As such, it’s often a source of anxiety for many men, even if they’re able to transform that anxiety into a kink.
Which is also why it’s great that the men of r/PositivelyPremature have found a community of like-minded individuals who feel no shame or embarrassment in the speed at which they cum. Regardless of gender, all parties there appear to prioritize pleasure for themselves and their partners — thus, their ejaculations may be “premature,” but their approach to sex is fully grown-up.
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
