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The Anatomy of a Considerate Facial

Cumming on someone’s face is an intimate, yet inherently chaotic act. Here’s how to do it with care and consideration

When I present myself as the recipient of a facial (yes, that kind), I’m saying that I’ll accept the offering you’re about to leave at my altar. It’s a moment of worship of my face — the part of the body that often represents our identity as a whole — and when executed with poise, it can be fun. Maybe we frame it as some enjoyable, dirty and consensually degrading act — and maybe we pretend that the person cumming is the one in power — but we both know that’s not really the case. Anyone who’s in a position to cum on a face is lucky to be there, and as such, they’ve got to behave considerately. 

But what makes for a considerate facial? Is there a way to respectfully cover a person’s face with semen — to make it an act not of ocular inflammation and nasal blockage, but of love? (Or again, at the very least, fun?)

There is, and like all good sex things, it starts with consent. A partner might agree to myriad intimate acts with you, but ending with such a finale requires confirmation of its own. Beyond the ethics of consent, this is because receiving a facial requires at least a moment’s notice. I have to prepare myself. I want to look my best, not as though someone just surprised me with a squirt gun. What’s the point of letting someone cum all over my face if I don’t at least feel cute while they’re doing it? 

Of course, looking cute and looking like a complete mess aren’t mutually exclusive. Ruining my hair, smearing my makeup and needing to wash it all off afterwards is part of the facial package. But once more, this is why consent matters. I might have errands to run after this. I might have a meeting. I might not have the time — or the energy — to get ready again. And just because I let you cum on my face yesterday doesn’t mean I’ll let you do it today. 

But while I’ll accept the ruination of my hair and makeup during a facial once permission is granted, there’s one thing I will not accept: cum in my eyes. On my closed eyelids? Sure, fine. In my eyeballs? Absolutely not. The pain of having semen in your eyes is a singular experience many straight men underestimate. It’s nothing like getting water in there — it stings, sometimes for an hour or more, and your eyes become red and inflamed while millions of sperm die on your corneas and try to swim up your tear duct to fertilize an egg that isn’t there. There’s not much you can do to temper the pain, either. In almost all cases, you’re stuck squeezing your eyes shut while you wait for the symptoms to subside. 

Further, it seems reasonable that every guy should taste his own cum to know what his partners go through. It’s easy enough — just take a little scoop on your finger and lick it off. But to my point above, I think they should take it a step further. Try putting a little up your nose. Better yet, flick some into an open eye. Deal with the hour-long irritation and redness that follows. 

Of course, not everyone treats this with disdain. There is, to my horror, more than one subreddit devoted specifically to cumming directly in a woman’s eye. The description of r/EyeCum, a subreddit with over 13,000 subscribers, even says that it’s for pictures, videos and GIFs of women taking cum in their eyes “whether they’re into it or not.” 

There’s no denying that this can be degrading — and that for some, degradation is part of the appeal — but it doesn’t have to be. Often, the face is simply a delightful place to cum. As with anything in sex, it’s a matter of one’s own standards and desires. Even so, consenting to that pain and degradation is what separates the creepy from the considerate. No matter if you both love the supposed degradation, it should always be something you’re into.  

Facials are an intimate, yet chaotic act, after all. Try as one might to control the precise landing of their ejaculate, its course is still ultimately dictated by the laws of random physics. There are infinite universes in which that cum falls in an infinite number of patterns. Part of why I agree to a facial is because there’s something awe-inspiring about that, as well as seeing my partner in all his glory in the time beforehand. In these moments, we’re both entirely vulnerable. 

But in agreeing to a facial, I’m also accepting that things may not perfectly go as planned. The responsibility of the giver, then, is to at least try their best to minimize those risks. And thus, we form a covenant. I will allow you to spoil my makeup and ask nothing in return. Just, please, please, please let me know when to close my eyes. 

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