The Pantsed_Dude has sewn a small coil of fabric on the inside part of his slacks. He hooks the heel of his foot on it, and when he steps down — hard — the button on the waistband ruptures open, sending his pants cascading down toward his ankles at a terminal velocity. The end result? A massive schlong, revealed to any onlookers.
This would be a nightmarish invention for us civilians, but it’s absolutely genius if you’re in the business of filming, as he calls it, “embarrassed nude male” kink videos. And so, in one of the most viral clips ever posted on the Pantsed_Dude’s Twitter account, he raises a bow to a violin like he’s cueing up “Moonlight Sonata,” before the concert is interrupted by a comical *rip.* Suddenly a cock is bouncing around the screen, greeted by a canned, cruel laugh track. The Pantsed_Dude, mortified, attempts to cover up the indecency with his fiddle, right before we all enjoy a slow-motion replay.
“I’m in it for the kink, but I also purposely play up the comedic side as well,” explains the Pantsed_Dude, who will remain anonymous for this story, but is 28 years old and asks me to call him Andy. “That’s the beauty. It can have multiple layers, and it can resonate differently with people.”
Andy’s violin stunt earned him over 1,000 likes on Twitter, and firmly consecrated his bespoke perch in our swirling digital culture. Yes, this is a man making niche smut for an uncommon sector of humanity who get off on watching men stripping bare for the jeering glee of a callous audience. But his content is funny enough — and edited well enough — that he’s also cultivated a massive audience of those who don’t belong to that offbeat juncture. He has more than 80,000 Twitter followers now, and has gained a reputation as one of the wonderfully peculiar cryptids that roam the benthic undercurrents of the horny internet. Felix Biederman, host of the wildly popular Chapo Trap House podcast, said it best when he compared Andy’s talents to that of Buster Keaton — here is an innately gifted physical comedian who also happens to make a killing selling smut on OnlyFans. The silent clowns would be proud.
Andy tells me he’s nurtured a fetish for being both naked and embarrassed from the very moment he discovered his sexuality. “I always had it, even if in a small way. Even if I was standing in front of the mirror and letting my pants slip down,” he explains. “I had dreams about being at a public gathering, getting nude and running around.” Andy never acted out the fantasy — he wasn’t interested in getting arrested for five minutes of outre pleasure — but he started orbiting around Reddit’s NSFW scene in 2018. It was there where he cut his teeth as an amaeteur porn producer; working out the precise angles, lighting and necessary springiness to give his pants removal routine its one-of-a-kind shock and awe.
“I was posting really simple ideas — just pants coming down, all set up quickly,” says Andy. “There was a subreddit called ‘I Am Very Embarrassed’ that I was posting to, and they were giving me really good feedback.”
Andy’s original brush with crossover viral fame arrived that same year with a clip entitled, “Wizard’s Spell to Hide Erection Backfires!” There is Andy, in full Hogwarts regalia, waving a magic wand that unwittingly summons his dick and balls from the nether regions underneath his frocky Gryffindor overcoat. It’s the perfect distillation of the Pantsed_Dude discipline — hilarious, bizarre, weirdly artful, balanced delicately on a faint line between being laughed with, and laughed at. Andy would continue to double-down on the magic of his craft from there, generating profound new scenarios that were inevitably interrupted with a rogue cock. (Here, for instance, is Andy’s member slowly protruding from his fly during a guitar lesson.)
Andy started up an OnlyFans account after his growing Reddit fanbase demanded the opportunity to pay him for his craft. The seclusion of the platform has allowed him to explore some of the more explicit arenas of pornography — his Twitter currently advertises “over 100 cumshot videos” available to all subscribers — but Andy also kept a day job as a graphic designer. (Hence the reason he keeps his face blurred on nearly all of his videos.)
That changed, however, during COVID, when he found himself unceremoniously laid off. As of this writing, OnlyFans is Andy’s primary income, leveraging the unprecedented success of his pants-flinging technique into unbound commercial potential. Already, he says, he’s started to collaborate with other femme sex workers, which I imagine offers some visceral juice to his humiliation streak. That, he argues, is the closest he’s ever come to truly actualizing the fantasy. “Having the opportunity to film one-on-one with them was amazing,” he tells me. “We were able to make some really great content.”
That makes Andy one of the many, many runaway victors of the sex-work rennaissance, and also someone who stands at a decision point. Just how far does he want to take this? Will Andy throw off any other career ambitions to build an Embarrassed Nude Male empire — fueled by both his genuine simps and those who simply like to watch the eccentric new ways he’s learned to disrobe? Or will he eventually retreat back to other, more traditional ventures, as the earth starts to rotate on its axis again after the pandemic recedes to memory?
Andy doesn’t know for sure. Living as a long-term professional pornographer would require him to step out from the shadows, putting a name and face to those whinging cock and balls. That’s a big step forward, and no one can take it lightly. “I’m just kind of playing it by ear. But I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of stepping out from behind the camera,” he says. “It’s possible.”
In the meantime, we will all be left with undeniable proof that every medium has its auteurs, and every avenue of our culture can be briefly elevated into unparalleled high art. Keep your Da Vincis and Monets, I want to see Andy’s cock exploding out of his pants with such an incredible force I don’t know whether to laugh or scream.
Seriously, how could anyone this talented ever be so embarrassed?