10-24

‘Muscle Morph’ Fetishists, Asian v. Western Orgasm Faces and the Incel War on Teen Love

This piece on the fact that Westerners make entirely different faces than Asians when they orgasm will make your head explode. Like, what? It’s not as though we start to cum and then say, “Better make my American, When Harry Met Sally… O-face!” Yet maybe that’s what it’s come to (pun unavoidable): We can’t even nut without copying some shit we saw on TV one time.

Personally, I’d rather not know what my O-face looks like. I’m sure it’s frightened more than one of my partners, with all its painful contortions. That’s probably why I’m 34 and still single.

As wild as that piece is, it’s probably the third wildest of the bunch today. Let me know if you agree.

Must Read

Talking to the Men Who Photoshop Female Bodybuilders into Hulk-Sized ‘Fuck Warriors’”
When Oliver Lee Bateman published this story on female steroid users, he didn’t expect it to lead down a fetish rabbit hole. But that’s exactly what happened, after a Facebook friend sent him a “muscle morph,” a photoshopped image of a woman’s head on the hulking body of a Mr. Universe contestant. And that’s how Bateman found himself knee deep in the “muscle worship” fetishist community. READ MORE

This Fuggin’ Guy

That racist, “Democrats will be lynching black folks” radio ad that went viral last Friday wasn’t a scam. It also wasn’t the work of a shadowy super PAC advancing the agenda of racist white people. Nope, it was the work of a black man — former Ben Carson campaign manager Vernon Robinson — and it’s the opening salvo of a campaign aimed to bring pro-lifers to power all across the South.

O Mama

If you picture an “O face,” or the face a man makes when he orgasms, it might look something like this:

But really, that’s only true if you’re a Westerner. In fact, researchers found that people from Western and East Asian cultures have entirely different understandings of which facial expressions actually indicate the moment you blow your load. Here’s the difference.

From the “Craziest Thing You’ll Read All Week” Dept.

Imagine meeting someone, having sex, dating for years, and then discovering your partner isn’t who they say they are. In fact, they’re actually an undercover cop — married, with kids — and for the entire time you’ve been “dating,” they’ve been assigned to spy on you. How violated would you feel? For the British women in the midst of that exact scenario, the answer is very violated. And now they’re in an uphill battle for justice.

The Only Good Teen is a Dead Teen

Yuuuuuup. Incels are at it again. This time they’re focusing their virgin rage at teenagers — specifically, teens in love. Because if Incels can’t have the purest, truest form of love, no one can.

So Gay

Want the world to know you’re gay? Get your right ear pierced. That’s it. Fin. Or at least that’s what I and the rest of the boys my age were taught in middle school. “Earring code,” as arbitrary as it seems, was simply the way it was — set in stone on the pages of the New York Times, no less. But the story of how a pierced right ear came to symbolize homosexuality is far more complex.

Tale of the Tape

David Bixenspan, who never watched a Wrestlemania he didn’t like, harkens back to the good ol’ days when fans built relationships with each other trading VHS cassette tapes of their favorite matches and events. And while I might not be what you’d describe as a pro-wrestling aficionado, I can’t deny it doesn’t sound like a good time.

We Done Fucked Up

MEL staffers aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed. In fact, we’ve all made some excruciatingly dumb mistakes at work. Some dumber than others. I don’t want to ruin it for you, but sheesh, these are egregious —and, thankfully, hilarious. Please, laugh at our expense.