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Forget Vasectomies, Dick Magnets Could Be the Easy, Reversible Male Birth Control You Need

You’ll have to heat up your balls and inject nanoparticles into your blood, but at least no one will be calling you ‘daddy’

There is a massive gap in the field of male contraceptives. If you’re trying to avoid getting someone pregnant as the person producing sperm, your choices are to either use a not-so-perfectly-effective condom or turn off the tap permanently with a vasectomy. According to a study published by the American Chemical Society in July, though, there might soon be a new option that, while not sounding excellent on paper, might be the perfect in-between choice. 

Admittedly, it’s going to involve putting magnets in your balls. But stay with me here! 

Previously, researchers had studied the possibility of using heated nanoparticles injected into the testes as a means of male contraceptive. The problem with that, though, was that injecting heated nanoparticles into the testes apparently hurts very, very badly. And so, researchers at Nantong University and Shanghai University in China attempted a new solution. Using iron oxide nanoparticles coated in citric acid, the researchers injected the substance into the bloodstream of male mice. Then, using magnetic fields, they heated the nanoparticles and guided them directly to the testes of the mice. Next, the mice’s testes were hit with an alternating magnetic field for 15 minutes.

“The nanoparticles heated the testes to a temperature of 104 degrees Fahrenheit, [temporarily] shrinking them and inhibiting spermatogenesis,” a press release for the study states. Seven days following the treatment, the male mice couldn’t get the untreated virgin female mice they resided with pregnant. After 60 days, however, they were back to knocking ‘em up by the dozen. 

Given the momentary effects of the procedure, the researchers speculate this could eventually be a treatment offered to human males as well. We’re obviously a few years away from that, but maybe someday, guys who want to avoid impregnating people will be visiting the clinic for their monthly ball magnetizing.

Ain’t that a magnet in the nuts.

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