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How to Commit the Abominable Crime of Baking Your Burgers

Baking your burgers is healthier than grilling them, so I guess this is warranted

When you’re craving a burger, there’s no compromise. Neighbor stole your grill? Cooktop won’t light? Can’t get fresh patties anywhere? Fuck it — we’re learning how to cook frozen burgers in the oven.

The Mundane Method

If you like doing things the right way, cooking ice-cold burgs in the oven is about as simple as it gets:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. Place the patties on a lightly greased pan, season, cover with aluminum foil and shove that shit onto the center rack.
  3. Bake the burgers for about an hour. If they’re especially thicc, it may take more time. If they’re a bit wimpy, it may take less time.
  4. When you suspect they’re ready, remove them from the oven and prick them with a meat thermometer. It’s important that the patties have reached an internal temperature of 160 degrees Fahrenheit so you don’t get Salmonella.
  5. Put some onions on them, and eat.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: Baked burgers sound somber, and yeah, I agree. But there are a few benefits to roasting them:

  • They’re cooked with less oil and fat, which results in a leaner burger.
  • Not needing to flip your burgers puts you at less risk of a wrist injury.
  • The oven door protects you from splattering grease, so you’re free to go shirtless.

Moving on… 

The r/Cooking Method

If following the rules sounds too slow for you, the cooks of r/Cooking recommend a different approach: “Put them straight from frozen under the broiler, and flip them a few times until done. The broiler is pretty much like an upside-down grill.” Again, just make sure they’re cooked through, or be okay with potentially spending the next 24 hours in your bathroom.

The Michelin Star Method

If you really want to spice things up, chef Alex Hong of Sorrel, a one-star Michelin restaurant in San Francisco, suggests the best alternative I can think of: Throw that shit out your window into your goddamn thieving neighbor’s lawn. “The thought of cooking a frozen burger in the oven is absurd,” he says.

He’s right. You deserve better.

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