Did you see the eclipse? Kind of a letdown? Your eyes, they burning? Can’t believe you have to go back to work now? Well, look on the “bright” side: Twitter was popping. The platform is never better than during those moments when a single subject dominates all conversation, and the first coast-to-coast eclipse in almost a century sure fit the bill.
For starters, everyone was pretty damn horny:
https://twitter.com/PTRSMTH/status/899645260405514241
Screaming "eclipse me daddy!" at the sun until I'm forcefully removed from the parking lot of Burger King
— Big Supernaturals (@UweBollocks) August 21, 2017
https://twitter.com/evepeyser/status/899633410150457344
https://twitter.com/jonny_is_good/status/899695992362196999
https://twitter.com/Nicole_Cliffe/status/899662950637518856
Others felt a tad more aggressive:
https://twitter.com/ChuckWendig/status/899700701588226054
Either way, we were all pretty stoked to go blind (or show off our shades):
https://twitter.com/surfbordt/status/899653007616462848
https://twitter.com/boring_as_heck/status/899686565881958400
sickened by these Bill Clinton-esque "I peeked but did not indulge" takes…I checked the eclipse out and it ruled. Im glad ill see less now
— john v. variety ❤️.U.∞ OUT NOW (@johnvvariety) August 21, 2017
https://twitter.com/ziwe/status/899664427234062337
https://twitter.com/robinwasserman/status/899685075746467842
Then, of course, there were the critics and deniers.
https://twitter.com/Siejka24/status/899694196952629250
You may think, "Wow, gotta be a rough day for flat earth believers"
Nah they got this all figured out, pic.twitter.com/Dq0uGJElkb
— Patrick Claybon (@PatrickClaybon) August 21, 2017
https://twitter.com/rudy_mustang/status/899701624091705344
I have never looked at the sky and if you think I'm gonna start because the moon is being a dumbass or something you're dead wrong
— Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) August 21, 2017
https://twitter.com/KarenKilgariff/status/899683509203107840
Our hearts go out to the eclipse fans whose viewing parties were thwarted by clouds:
100% cloud cover here no sun to look at world is a fuck throw me in the trash forever.
— crisp mattman (@cushbomb) August 21, 2017
Cheers at the Grand Ole Opry as we become fully eclipsed. THEN HUGE GROANS AS A CLOUD MOVES IN TO RUIN IT
— Matt Pearce 🦅🇺🇸 (@mattdpearce) August 21, 2017
Sisters begging the big cloud to pass quickly. #SolarEclipse pic.twitter.com/odscORbCM5
— lisa johnston (@aeternusphoto) August 21, 2017
The president didn’t have that problem:
https://twitter.com/MicahSingleton/status/899643528787243010
https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/899419737377185796
https://twitter.com/TMannWSJ/status/899702782206386177
Aaaaaand here's your photo of Trump looking straight at the eclipse pic.twitter.com/5vv6sVTDIl
— Stefan Marolachakis (@stefanmymind) August 21, 2017
Preview of tonight’s Tucker Carlson pic.twitter.com/DawbInUrWl
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) August 21, 2017
In the end, we all had a great time — and learned some valuable lessons.
don't talk to me or my sun ever again pic.twitter.com/DKJKcyOJvv
— gabe bergado (@gabebergado) August 21, 2017
https://twitter.com/historyinflicks/status/899705464849608704
https://twitter.com/BobbyBigWheel/status/899705499242954752
https://twitter.com/ryanqnorth/status/899706263071846402
https://twitter.com/LJohnsonWX/status/899680353031299072
I just saw some high af teenagers have their minds blown by the eclipse. It was beautiful
— Will 🦥 Menaker (@willmenaker) August 21, 2017
https://twitter.com/nedroid/status/899700829271203840
https://twitter.com/therealbradbabs/status/899703365474635777
live update pic.twitter.com/gbVQdFPgsr
— John Viveiros (@johnviveiros_) August 21, 2017
it's finally gone. fuck to the sun, the worst star in the goddamned sky. see you never sucker
— mattie lubchansky (@Lubchansky) August 21, 2017
See you in another hundred years, everybody.
Miles Klee
Miles Klee is MEL’s resident tank-top dirtbag, shitposter and meme expert. He’s also the author of the novel ‘Ivyland’ and a story collection, ‘True False.’
