I don’t ever want to wake up before 10 a.m. I’ll do it most days, because I have to, but I don’t like it. On vacation, though? Sweetie, I’m waking up whenever God decides it’s time. No alarm clocks, no responsibilities, no places to be.
Not everyone has this mentality, of course. For some, no matter what type of vacation it is, they think they need to be up and at ‘em at 7 a.m. And as several TikToks on the matter highlight, this is always a bad idea.
“Thinking it would be a good idea to book an 8:30 a.m. boat ride on a bachelorette [trip],” one recent viral TikTok says, showing three women laying on a hotel hallway floor, hanging their heads over the railing of a boat, dumping water on their faces and generally looking as though they’re struggling to stay alive.
There are several other TikToks in this exact same format that show people way too hungover to hold onto the early-morning vacation plans they ambitiously booked. In almost all of them, they’re either bachelor/bachelorette parties or guests at tropical resorts where the primary expectation in visiting is that they’re gonna be binge-drinking Mai Tais well into the night.
These aren’t situations where people are trying to soak up every minute of their trip with culture or scenery. And that’s fine! Let’s drop the idea that every vacation needs to be some sort of life-changing experience, and admit that some trips are truly just meant for relaxing and indulging. And yes, that means in the morning.
But even on those trips where time is of the essence and there are new worlds to be explored, I still believe that nothing all that great happens before 10 a.m. Really, noon if I’m being honest. There have got to be plenty of tours and cruise excursions that don’t leave when dew is still settling to the ground, giving you ample time to enjoy your night as much as you do your day.
Yet, some of these TikToks don’t even involve alcohol, partying or any sort of robust nighttime activity. One, for example, was made by some teenagers who were forced to eat their hotel’s complimentary breakfast before it ended at 7 a.m. Food isn’t even appetizing at that hour! The $1.27 worth of cereal, milk and a single hard boiled egg is not worth the sleep you’re sacrificing!
Other versions of the trend only state something along the lines of, “You’re hungover running on two hours of sleep but gotta make the excursion.” Presumably, these are primarily people who got themselves into this mess by booking something far too early in the morning. If they stayed up till 9 a.m. and their excursion is at 11 a.m., that’s another issue in its own right. You’ve gotta take care of yourself if you have to get up early, but again, there’s no reason to get up early on vacation.
In other words, stop trying to do shit on your trip before noon. Even if you’re the type to always be up bright and early, I’m begging you to take the opportunity to slow down for a minute. It’s good for you! And please — please — if you’re somehow put in charge of planning a group trip with your friends, do not impose your early morning neuroses on everyone else. The funny TikTok you’ll get out of it isn’t a fair trade for the horror of being violently hungover on a boat.
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
