Dude-strology: My Scorpio Girlfriend Just Broke Up with Me. How Do I Get Her Back?

Men, you’re starting to understand that astrology isn’t total bullshit, right? After all, by now, you’ve seen how much it reveals about all the things that are most important in life — sex, love, family, friendship, money, work and much more. Not to mention, I’m still here to help — to show you how the answers to your most pressing/distressing questions reside in the stars.

In fact, in this particular episode of Dude-strology, I offer astrological wisdom for the following questions (and signs):

  1. For a Libra: Should I buy a new car?
  2. For a Sagittarius: How do I get my Taurus girlfriend to try new stuff in the bedroom?
  3. For an Aquarius: My Scorpio girlfriend broke up with me after she found my ex’s text thread in my phone. How do I get her back?

More importantly, write to me. Because men, I’m more than happy to tell you what your sign means w/r/t whatever is happening in your bedroom, your group-text chain or your office. Hmu at [email protected]