The hardworking, blue-collar condom hasn’t really changed much since the invention of latex in 1920. Sure, there’s the ribbed (for her pleasure) varieties, as well as glow-in-the-dark and flavored, but when it comes to sizes, condoms are pretty much the same: Small, medium and large.
Unfortunately, today’s condom sizes are mostly an exercise in wishful thinking. According to a study out of Indiana University a few years ago, a whopping 83 percent of men’s dicks aren’t long enough to even fit in a standard condom. In fact, as The New York Times reported yesterday, the FDA mandates that standard condoms be at least 6.69 inches in length, while the average man is only 5.57 inches — a full inch shorter. No wonder guys aren’t that wild about them.
But the FDA seems to have learned from their mistakes over the last year, and has begun approving a larger range of condom sizes. The Times piece focuses on the efforts of custom condom manufacturer Global Protection Corp, makers of myONE Perfect Fit, who were a key part of lobbying the FDA to alter regulations. MyONE, which offers 60 distinct sizes of condoms of varying lengths and girths — 4.9 to 9.4 inches and 3.5 to 5 inches, respectively — recommends that you measure your junk to ensure a, well, perfect fit.
Thankfully, this condom-size revolution means that the days of “sorry, babe, it just came off” may soon be a thing of the past.
A few other things we learned about our bodies today:
- Mushrooms — not the kind you put on pizza, the psychedelic variety — may hold the key to resetting depressed peoples’ brains.
- Want to maybe possibly become a better athlete? Smoke more weed.
- Broccoli isn’t just one of the tastiest vegetables, it’s really important for maintaining a healthy gut.
- Regardless of what language we speak, we all talk to babies the same way.
- If you’re getting surgery you might want to consider scheduling it earlier in the day.
- In today’s “no, duh” news, coconut water isn’t the magical elixir it’s made out to be. It’s actually chock-full of sugar!
Jeff Gross
Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.
