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Mike Rampton

Mike Rampton is a freelance writer who lives in London. He enjoys making aggressively difficult puns, drinking on trains and pretending to be smarter than he is. He would like to own a boat one day but accepts that he probably won't.

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Why Did Chip Architects Equip Tostitos Scoops with Ridges?

Are they some sort of genius salsa-securing device us plebs just can’t comprehend?

How Much of the Celery Grown in the U.S. Goes Straight to Wing Plates?

Time for some bleu-cheese-dipped detective work

The Exact Order a Seven-Layer Dip Should Be Constructed, Per Flavor Experts

Beans then guacamole? Guacamole then beans? And where does the goddamn salsa go?

What’s the Perfect Structural Integrity for a Weight-Bearing Chip?

How Did Calvin from ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ End Up Peeing on Everything?

Are There Any Animals That Can Lick Their Balls But Choose Not To?

The Avril Lavignaissance: How 2022 Will Be the Year of Pop-Punk’s Queen

Did a Man With a Bottle Up His Ass Inspire the Breakup of Yugoslavia?

The Literary Genius of Movie Novelizations

Is There a Reason I Always Shudder After Doing a Shot?

Why Do I Sometimes Shiver Uncontrollably When I Piss?

The Fiery Campaign to Give the Dragon on the Welsh Flag a Penis