Reinforcing the ancient stereotype that African men and Asian men sit on opposite sides of the dick-size spectrum, Zimbabwean Minister of Health David Parirenyatwa has reportedly said that young people in the southern African country complained about the size of imported Chinese condoms, saying they were “too small.”
“Youths now have a particular condom that they like, but we don’t manufacture them,” Parirenyatwa said while speaking during the launch of the Zimbabwe Private Sector HIV/AIDS and Wellness Coordination Board last week. “We import condoms from China, and some men complain they are too small.”
Parirenyatwa also urged private manufactures to join in the fight against the HIV/AIDS epidemic in their country by manufacturing drugs and condoms that are more suitable for the Zimbabwean people (an estimated 13.5 percent of adults in the country are currently infected with HIV).
In response to the complaint, one Chinese condom manufacturer told the South China Morning Post that it’s considering releasing condoms that come in different sizes. “As to the different demands from customers such as in Zimbabwe, Daxiang, as a Chinese manufacturer, has the ability and the obligation to make a contribution, so we have started to do some surveys on users’ data in the region to make preparations for future products with different sizes,” said Zhao Chuan, the chief executive of Beijing Daxiang and His Friends Technology Co.
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room.
For those wondering, the average erect penis is just over five inches long and 4.5 inches around, according to a 2015 U.K. study of more than 15,000 men across all races and nationalities.
However, self-reported — and decidedly unscientific — data provided by two million men (and growing) from all over the world would have us believe that the average penis is actually an inch longer (surprise, surprise). This data also suggests that, true to the stereotype, the biggest dicks come from Kenya and Nigeria — at an average length of 6.8 inches — while Asians have the smallest (the Philippines, Singapore and Malaysia sit at the bottom of the list , with an average length of 5.5 inches).
Whether these stereotypes are true or not, one thing is certain: You need a condom that fits whatever you’re working with. As per Melissa White, the founder and CEO of Lucky Bloke, a company whose mission is to better educate people about their condom options, “If your condom isn’t fitting — no matter how technologically-advanced it is or what it’s made out of — you’re not going to have a good experience.”
And if you’re not having a good experience, you’re not going to wear a condom, which is the last thing that needs to happen during an HIV/AIDS epidemic.
So, you heard us, Big Condom: Let’s make some rubbers in different measurements that men feel good about using. Even if they are bullshitting about their dick size.
Ian Lecklitner
Ian Lecklitner is a staff writer at MEL Magazine. He mostly writes about everyone's favorite things: Sex, drugs and food.
