Illustration by Dave van Patten

Arizona Politician Wants You to Know He’s Had Lots of Sex

Group sex, sex with married women, sex on camera—basically all the sex

While our regular feature “Don’t Be That Guy” focuses on men who screw up epically in the day-to-day demonstration of their masculinity, every now and again we issue a man stamp of approval for admirable male behavior. Today is that day, and it’s for Noah Dyer, a candidate for Arizona governor in 2018, who has seen fit to put a section on his campaign website called “Scandal and Controversy.” The idea is to head off any finger-wagging at his past by coming clean about his finances ($100k in student loan debt!), religion (people should be free to believe anything!), family (he’s divorced!), but most importantly, his sex life, in case you thought you had any dirt on him.

He writes:

Noah has had both deep and casual sexual experiences with all kinds of women. He is an advocate of open relationships. He’s had group sex and sex with married women. He has sent and received intimate texts and pictures, and occasionally recorded video during sex. Noah has always been forthright with his partners. All of his relationships have been legal and consensual, never coercive, or abusive, and he condemns such behavior. Noah is unapologetic about his sexual choices, and wishes others the same safety and confidence as they express themselves.

All kinds of women! Video! Unapologetic! Dyer told The Daily Dot he thinks it’s too bad that other politicians have been “ruined by scandal,” and he doesn’t want to be one of them. “They were doing good things and were well loved, and it ruins [them],” he said. “I think that’s unfortunate.”

To be clear, talking about how much sex you’ve had is generally frowned upon for good reason: It’s tacky, gross, a braggart’s pastime, or just straight-up lies to make you seem experienced. We don’t recommend any old dude do it.

And while we applaud his brave choice to open his closet and put the spotlight on his skeletons before anyone else gets there, we should note that he’s still a politician, which means he can never be entirely trusted. To wit: Dyer mentions on his about page that he’s also a hobby stage hypnotist. Maybe it’s a trick to hypnotize us all into having open relationships.